mostly david ephgrave

Tonight's evening in the Ephgrave household (flat) consisted of eating cheese and biscuits – like the aspirational middle-class people we are – and watching Strictly – like our inner Plebeians. See below for the usual Twitter-based nonsense; how much sense it makes out of context is up to interpretation.            6:55pm: Len could at least have the decency to get up off his seat. 6:56pm: "Singer and loose woman, Jamelia." 7:00pm: By being on TV tonight, Gleb just made fifteen million female viewers pregnant. 7:01pm: We've all seen Gleb in the park on a Saturday night, haven't we? HAVEN'T WE? 7:03pm: Bruno's 'Gleb / park' quip may have been an invitation. 7:07pm: Jay's dance started with some serious chest-thrusting-out-in-a-waistcoat action. 7:10pm: He missed Hans at the end? I must have missed Hans too. 7:10pm: Jay's neckwear: tie of a cravat? You decide. 7:12pm: Jay's compass tat...

See below for my tweets regarding tonight's episode of Strictly Come Dancing, all in one place, like. This evening saw a personal first, when I gave one of my three available online votes to Anton du Beke.  It's official: I've changed.   6:32pm: First Gleb Sighting of the Weekend. # Gleb 6:33pm: Tess' chest is in mourning. 6:35pm: "News Anchor, Kirsty Gallacher". Don't forget the glottal stop. 6:36pm: Last week, Anita came as Ruth Madoc. 6:38pm: Gleb and Anita: if it's not one sliding on the floor, it's the other. 6:38pm: If Anita moved like that on Country File, John Craven would have a heart attack. 6:40pm: Gleb's head is a completely blank canvas, on which he draws a face every morning. 6:42pm: Gleb is an animatronic operated by a team of five. 6:43pm: Every night, Gleb goes home, shuts his curtains* and has sex with himself.   *(not a refere...