mostly david ephgrave

Today saw another thrilling installment of University Challenge with all the usual ingredients, from a scornful Paxman to a bearded tit (which is a birdwatcher's favourite). As ever, I found myself less enamoured with the questions and more interested in the contestants' appearance, which I know is childish, but that's the way these things go. See below for what I said on Twitter: Bristol Vs. Ulster (05.03.18) 8:33PM: Jeremy Paxman is the dictionary definition of phoning it in. 8:33PM: If the waistcoat weren't enough: the facial hair. 8:35PM: Bowes is a tool. 8:36PM: Bowes thinks Tin Machine was Bowie's finest work, just to appear interesting. 8:37PM: Bowes' beard looks like a thicket. 8:38PM: Bowes' hair is on loan from Barry Humphries. 8:40PM: Jeremy NO Paxman NO loves NO the NO word NO. 8:42PM: Got any salmon, Hosegood? LOVELY. 8:45PM: Jeremy Paxman shows disdain for the quest...

I felt terribly frustrated for not coming back in time to tweet along to last week’s University Challenge; all the more reason I was ready and prepared today for it today. Taking the mickey out of overly-knowledgeable, poorly dressed students is all I’ve got. See below for today’s tweets:  St. John's Cambridge Vs. Ulster (12.02.18) 8:34PM: A Devine-Stoneman. 8:35PM: Levin's mantra: "mime is money". 8:36PM: Levin wouldn’t have looked out of place in a Fifties’ coffee shop. 8:38PM: McKeown and sibilant answers don't mix. 8:39PM: McDaid is Angelos Epithemiou's McDad. 8:41PM: Going to a # UniversityChallenge recording must be a laugh a minute. 8:42PM: The longer you look, the more pronounced Devine-Stoneman's Adam's apple becomes. 8:44PM: Imagine how stressed Paxman would make you feel while threading a needle: "COME ON”. 8:49PM: "Come on, co...

Another week goes by and another episode of University Challenge goes out, and yet again, none of the contestants are Monkman. The fact my most popular tweet during tonight’s show was a statement to that effect only serves to illustrate that the rest of the nation are with me on this subject; well, at least sixteen people are, at time of going to press. None of the people to pass through the studio to be dismissed disdainfully by the world’s rudest (and consequently,   most unprofessional) presenter have been Monkman since, well, the last time Monkman appeared on the programme himself, and that was at the tail end of the last series; I’m starting to wonder if his over-urgent facial expression and overly asymmetrical fringe will ever grace our screens again. See below for the tweets I posted during tonight’s show: Ulster Vs. St Anne's - Oxford. (30.10.17) 8:03PM: Milliken will murder you and store you in his lock-up. 8:05P...