mostly david ephgrave

I don’t let taking part in the biggest arts festival on the planet stand in the way of live-Tweeting University Challenge; when the nation expects a service, you can’t say no. Tonight’s show was dominated by Davis’ facial hair and general demeanour, which reeked of smug git; they say you should never judge a book by its cover, but what if the cover includes a wax-styled tache? It didn’t help that he distinctly reminded me of three people I know and find particularly self-satisfied and may even have been projecting their traits onto Davis’ undeserving shoulders, but I wouldn’t bet on it; you can’t really look like that without being similarly contrived. See below for the usual concise social-media-bitching that’s neither big, nor clever.   SOAS Vs. Darwin - Cambridge (13.08.18) 8:34PM: Hoodie under a leather jacket; interesting choice. 8:35PM: Davis thinks he's Dali. We think he's a gimp. 8:37PM: Mulley looks li...

In years to come, when the BBC have long deleted the current Christmas series of University Challenge - in the same way they did with all those early Hancock’s Half Hours and Doctor Whos - my blog will stand as a testament. How else will we remember the barbed witticism Paxman made at Dom Joly’s expense, or which contestant correctly identified a smaller type of harpsichord as a spinet? I’m providing a vital service by documenting some of our country’s finest quiz-show output; transcribing events as they happen (or at least as they occur in a pre-recorded programme when it airs). I’m like a shit Samuel Pepys. See below for tonight’s tweets; you’ll thank me one day. SOAS - London Vs. Leeds (22.12.16) 7:32pm: Paxo's autobiography (if he hasn't already written one) will be called Fulfilling Contractual Obligations Grudgingly. 7:33pm: Warren's turning Japanese (he really thinks so). 7:34pm: Cultural Commenta...

The overriding theme of tonight’s University Challenge for me - as my tweets will vouch for - was SOAS Edwards nauseous looking face. Each time he found the confidence to raise his voice, he almost instantly had to hold back the contents of his stomach. To be fair, when faced with Jeremy Paxman’s trademark impatience, we’d all be the same; just ask any of the politicians he’s left in his post-Newsnight wake. As ever, I gave tonight’s show a running Twitter commentary. Here’s what I said: Durham Vs. SOAS (31.10.16) 8:02pm: Jeremy Paxman: so weary. 8:03pm: Because someone called Cressida WOULD come from Harrogate. 8:04pm: SOAS: Durham's parents. 8:05pm: Guillou has a slight air of shapeshifter about him. 8:06pm: Brophy's hair is thick and luxuriant. 8:07pm: SOAS's Edwards looks like a character played by Matt Smith. 8:08pm: Edwards looks like he's holding back a little sick. ...

Just when we thought we’d seen every University Challenge possibility, Wolfson Cambridge’s Monkman came to save us. Wolfson - Cambridge Vs. SOAS (19.09.16) He had all the requisite tics and quirks of an eccentric UC contestant, with a few extra thrown in for good measure; so much so, I refuse to believe he’s a real person. He was like a incantation brought about by a bunch of nerdy Ouija users; a Weird Science for the weird science student. I was so taken in, I barely paid attention to the rest of the show that was happening around him. See below for tonight’s Twitter outbursts; here’s hoping at least one of next week’s contestants can give Monkman a run for his money. I wait with bated breath. 8:02pm: Monkman rehearsed that smile. Nothing is spontaneous. 8:03pm: Monkman is clearly the # UniversityChallenge unhinged hit of the evening. 8:04pm: For a split second, Henry Edwards forgot what he studies. 8:04pm: "THE BONGOS": my future...