mostly david ephgrave

I’m worried that my Weetabix portioning will be out of sync for the rest of my life. Let me explain the situation. I got to the end of my Weetabix stocks a few boxes back, to discover that the last biscuit in the pack was broken beyond all recognition. I was left with a pile of wheaty dust. I’d usually put this in my breakfast bowl regardless of its non-solid state, but in this instance there wasn’t any point. It would have clogged up the milk unnecessarily. The time had come to make an executive decision. I poured the remaining chunks of wheat into my food bin – I’m very conscientious – and opened up a new pack, so the penultimate Weetabix from the old box could have a fibrous companion. (I like to have two for breakfast. I’m that sort of person.) Ever since I’ve been out of sync. Weetabix is sold in even numbers. It makes for simpler packaging. You wouldn’t want a little adjunct to the standard box shape just to house an extra biscuit. That would be impractical. You also woul...

The other day, I added Weetabix to my mobile phone’s dictionary. The time had come to make a commitment. (I’m referring to the word Weetabix, rather than the actual product. You wouldn't want flakes of wheat clogging up your phone’s inner mechanism.) There are only so many breakfast-related texts you can send before you get sick of the little red wavy line that clutters them up . This is meant to assist you, but only winds you up, particularly when you know you’ve spelt the word correctly. It also plays havoc with your OCD; it’s a lose-lose situation. It’s surprising that a food invented nearly a century ago with a name in common parlance has yet to achieve the distinction of being listed on a smartphone’s memory. This might just be the case with a BlackBerry Q10, though there’s only so much research I’m prepared to do on the subject. I’m not going to buy an iPhone to find out. (While Weetabix isn’t recognised by BlackBerry, it is by Microsoft Word. I spy a Bill ...