mostly david ephgrave

However difficult your life may be, spare a thought for the man who had to stick the sign on this automatic door.     (I'm not being sexist. It could have been a woman.) As far as jobs go, it's a pretty thankless task. How did they even do it? Every time you walk towards it the bloody thing would open. This could carry on for hours. It would become a game of wits. You'd try every trick at your disposal: tiptoeing slowly; crawling on your hands and knees; pressing yourself against the adjacent wall and stretching one arm out; lunging wildly at it from a distance. Each technique would be met with a whoosh of mechanics and, ultimately, disappointment.    Even if, by some fluke, you managed to get close, the sellotape could have lost its tack. I bet staff dread looking at the rota to see they're on door sign duty. It must be the most unpopular job on the premises. Locking it probably isn't much better.   (Of course, they could jus...

I’m addicted to taking amusing photographs. Well, I find them amusing. It’s a little subjective; some people may not find them funny at all. Regardless of what any detractors might think, I just can’t help myself. I've grown used to the strange looks I get when taking them. I’ve been faced with countless flummoxed expressions whilst documenting something seemingly innocuous. I try to be discreet, though I'm often unsuccessful: I was once thrown out of a bookshop in Cork because I took a photo of this: (God knows what they thought my reason was for taking it.) I've come to accept that it doesn't matter what people think; the end usually justifies the means. It's also been the source of a lot of comedy material; the best pictures often end up incorporated into mine and Glyn's live act. (I'm thirty two years old.) My problem is I’m a natural pedant (any Daily Mail readers should look this up before scrawling it on my wall). I'...