mostly david ephgrave

I feel for the camera operators who had dreams of doing groundbreaking work, but get to film the torsos of fat people on the street for reports on obesity instead. It’s like the folk who photograph kebabs for takeaway menus, or Piers Morgan’s co-hosts on Good Morning Britain: they do a job no-one would envy. There are plenty who are worse-off, but their occupation still can’t bring much satisfaction; imagine being Susanna Reid just for a moment; she swapped cuddly Bill Turnbull for the Devil incarnate and can never go back. Whenever I see a news article about the overweight (of which I regrettably currently find myself on the cusp) I wonder if the people in the footage signed a release form for it; you’d have to be pretty fame-hungry (poor choice of wording) to agree to be featured in this context, even if your anonymity is reasonably secure. Or is the midriff copyright free? I don’t whore my trunk out for just anybody. Still, I suppose it ...

Jon Snow’s socks go all the way up.  At least that’s my theory. He certainly loves showing them off. No Channel Four News trailer would be complete without a bit of gratuitous ankle. It’s like he’s trying to mesmerise his audience. Perhaps he thinks his footwear will soften the blow of any shocking stories. Either that, or he’s under the misapprehension that he’s a cheeky Victorian woman. It’s a desperate attempt to impress personality on proceedings; a way of saying ‘I may be a newsreader, but I’m just like you’. He may as well wear a t-shirt with 'I’m Not As Think As You Drunk I Am' emblazoned on the front (though I doubt the C4 producers would allow this). I bet it’s more than just a pair of socks. I suspect he’s sporting a stripy, one-piece body stocking under that suit. Let’s hope we never find out. I doubt my heart could cope with it.   Jon Snow's socks have their own Facebook Page. Check it out .

I’m not sure that the wheelie bin is a universally recognised unit of measurement, despite what the people at BBC News seem to think. The problem with using a bin to illustrate the scale of a jellyfish is they vary in size. I’m referring to the bin here and not the jellyfish, though the same applies to both.   It depends on the type we’re talking about: industrial or household. It’s all a question of perspective; what’s big to one is tiny to another. (I’m still talking about bins.) I assume the trash can comparison is meant to stun us into silence. This didn’t work. If anything, it leaves us with more questions than answers. Telling us the size of the jellyfish in metric or imperial would have been clearer and still impressive. I’ve just noticed that the line about bins is in inverted commas. So, the fault doesn’t lie with the BBC, but with the person they’re quoting. Whoever made this statement should have at least supplied a picture of their own bin fo...