mostly david ephgrave

And so, that’s it. The last BBC series of The Great British Bake Off draws to a close, with an ending more emotional than the final shot of Blackadder Goes Forth spliced with the snowman melting to the tune of Aled Jones. It’s sad to think it’s done, and the dream team of Mel, Sue, Paul & Mary must part (until the BBC entices the majority of them back with a different format). In the same way that Brexit means Brexit, C4 no doubt means C4. Still, it was fun while it lasted. Who knows?: maybe the move will breathe new life into the proverbial oven; we’ll have to wait and see. Below you’ll find tonight's live tweets. I’m glad Candice won, though I did mourn the lack of Selasi. How long before he hosts a show with Nadiya? Not long, I hope. 8:01pm: Continuity Announcer: "...but who will be crowned as the winner?" (Answer: Love Productions, at £25million). 8:02pm: Andrew Eddie Red(head)mayne. 8:03pm: Paul Hollyw...

Sifting through my tweets about last night’s Great British Bake-Off to compile today's blog has only served to reiterate one thing: that programme's become utter filth . What used to be a mere sprinkling of Kenneth Williams Carry-On-style allusions to adult situations is now a deluge of full-on dirt. No wonder it’s moving to Channel Four; when it does, its transformation into a cake-based Eurotrash will be complete. Below you’ll find my record of last night’s shenanigans, but be warned: a parent or guardian should accompany anyone under the age of fourteen who's reading it. 8:04pm: Tonight, Paul, Mary, Mel and Sue should stop standing on ceremony and just say "penis". 8:07pm: Paul: "If you put too much filling in, you're not going to fit it in your mouth". [INSERT EUPHEMISM HERE]. 8:07pm: Heh heh. "Cream filling". 8:08pm: Mary Berry, as the builder she's hired to do ...

Today's was another cracker of a Bake Off, with more than enough to keep me interested; let’s face it: any programme with cakes in it will have me hooked to the screen.  See below for today’s unnecessary Twitter #GBBO bitching. I’ve tried to keep myself reigned in enough that it doesn’t become too controversial:   8:02pm: "A Danish classic": Sandi Toksvig. 8:03pm: Val: you may be outside, but could you use your inside voice, please? 8:07pm: "I'm bashing it out while my dough rests". Too easy. 8:15pm: The # GBBO mixers, when their beaters are up, remind me a little of the creatures in Alien. Don't I know you? 8:18pm: Val's "a bit soft in the middle." 8:23pm: Paul Hollywood's grey shirt complements his salt-and-pepper hair perfectly. 8:26pm: Bakewell tart or Bakewell pudding? The people of Derbyshire will be KICKING OFF. 8:30pm: My favourite Top of the Pops danci...