mostly david ephgrave

I don't feel much momentum at the moment; everything's at a standstill. When I did the only preview that went ahead this year, I found energy I hadn't expected that drove the show along and made me feel I could still do Edinburgh, despite  the inevitable impact of the loss of my dad and the circumstances around it ; that, plus the money donated, showed I had support from an unseen audience. However, the project was inevitably on a knife-edge and still vulnerable to collapse; it was a delicate balance susceptible to sabotage from extra pressure. And that's what happened: I hit a familiar brick wall. The inability to strike a temporary compromise with a close relative over my dad's estate made me feel unable to leave home for a month with everything in flux, so I cancelled the run with a few days' notice at a cost of over £6000. And not only did the relative never mention the cancellation or the fact I was meant to be doing Edinburgh at all  until a ...

I didn't really achieve anything today, which is frustrating. As I intimated yesterday, it's strange to suddenly be in a position where I have less to do, in comparison to the mad panic dash that led to last week's shows in Brighton. That's not to say that I don't have things to be getting on with; I just feel a little purposeless compared to how things were in the last few weeks. At least I've managed to do more today than my cat. She has recently taken to sleeping on the chair closest to my living room window, after having been completely indifferent to it in previous months - and today, she's only really moved from it to (1) check on the food situation in the kitchen or (2) to pester me for some of what I'm eating. I know cats sleep more than most other species, but her lack of effort for anything has to be seen to be believed. She'd snore if she could muster up the energy.

Writing is mostly about avoiding writing. Every time I go into the office it’s the same. I’ll check my emails, Twitter, the sales for Mostly Comedy, my bank balance, the stat-counter on mine and Glyn's website, the Paul McCartney forum and then Twitter again, before I consider putting pen to paper (in an electronical, computer-typery sense). I’d repeat this cycle ad infinitum if I could get away with it.  If there’s anything I can distract myself with, I’ll leap at it like a man possessed. The closer the deadline, the longer it takes me to get to work. It’s not the most helpful approach.   Not every diversion is self-inflicted. There’s often admin to wade through first. I’ve also not taken into account the many hours spent trying to connect to BT Openzone. You don’t get that time back; something I'm looking forward to mulling over on my deathbed.   I may not be giving myself due credit. I’ve managed to keep this ...