mostly david ephgrave

It's common sense really, but today I felt the value of starting the day positively. I took the dog out first thing - well, what classes as first thing for me - which I do most weekdays and, despite the rain, we both enjoyed it. The only downside to dog-walking is I often find myself thinking about difficult conversations from the past that still niggle. It's the mental equivalent to coming up with the perfect witty retort days later when the moment's passed. I try to catch my rumination when I notice it and actively change the subject as I know it's unhelpful. I'm getting better at this, though it's an inexact science. While it's good to take the dog out, deciding to play the drums as soon as I got home was the real win. Changes in my routine since lockdown has seen me slow down a bit and put on weight I'd like to shift, but it's always difficult to find the right exercise to suit my back problems and - let's be honest - lethargy. Old Me spent m...

I must be one of the few people on the planet to introduce an hourlong walk to his daily routine for a month and still put on weight. To do this requires talent - albeit admittedly one I'd sooner not possess - although to be fair my increased mass is purely supposition; I haven't weighed myself in a while. Yet despite the lack of concrete evidence, it's hard to ignore the loosening of my belt and tightening of my jacket: there's something afoot, and those feet suddenly have a little more to carry. Whether I've got heavier in the last few weeks or not, I've definitely put on weight over the past year, which I'm desperate to get rid of. It makes me feel sluggish and affects my self-esteem; I'm almost glad I haven't had a casting for a while as I wouldn't want to commit my increased girth to camera. The change is most likely caused by a combination of medication and biscuits. This partly motivated my getting a dog, as I hoped the excuse for mo...

One positive upshot to having a dog (and yes, this is another dog blog) is I get to see lovely morning or night skies I might have missed otherwise, along with the general sights that go with being outdoors more often. Walking the dog is an exercise in mindfulness; something I discovered long ago when looking after my mum’s dog Barley, who has a habit of snaffling up anything you pass that vaguely fits the definition of edible. Like most dogs, his nose is his main tool for catching up on gossip, and he'll happily scour the perimeter of the park for any canine news, eating anything he finds on his travels if you let him. Consequently, your attention's more focussed on here and how than usual and you get to see much more of what’s around you. My dog Elwood’s eating habits are similar to Barley's except he’s possibly slightly more discerning, so my eyeline’s allowed to be cast higher than ground level at least every few minutes. If it’s early or late...

Yesterday, I finished registering my work-in-progress dates at the Brighton Fringe next May and booked in a performance of ‘Now Who’s a Comedian?’ at the Etcetera Theatre toward the end of January, to plug the gap between now and my show at Leicester Comedy Festival in February , thus setting the wheels creaking into motion for 2018. It felt good to get back on my feet following last week’s unpleasant review, instead of stewing for too long on it, though I won’t deny, it hasn’t left my mind quite yet; it’s frustrating to be grappling with unnecessary self-doubt as I consider my next move, as any creative person has enough of this to contend with, without someone else sticking their head around the door to shout, “You’re SHIT”, before buggering off again. It’s just so tiresome. I’m already struggling to face the idea of working up something new to have to waste time bolstering myself from an outsider’s negative commentary; my brain ignores positive ...

I decided not to go to tonight's meditation class so I could free up some time to work on my show, but ended up using it to complete an email-based interview for an online listing site, which should help promote it. I'm glad I got it done quickly (I only received the questions today); it's good to strike while the iron's hot, plus I can start tomorrow on a fresh slate, rather than having to concern myself with admin.  Today's been busy, taking in a meeting to discuss a possible extra venue for Mostly Comedy to take on in the New Year - more details to follow - and a spot of dog-walking for my mum with my wife, and a visit to Kwik Fit to have a tire changed (on my wife's car; not on me). I've also managed to squeeze in good forty minutes plus of meditation, which has been invaluable for settling my mind in the midst of all the show-looming freneticism. Seeing my mum's do g helped too, as he's a good antidote to stress. I'm fully aware that today...

As is often the case when I’ve had a good day working on my show, it is swiftly followed by a less productive one. This was solely due to other things getting in the way. First off, this morning, I had to walk a massive dog; my mum’s dog, to be precise. I caught the bus to Stotfold to take him out, which I often do, as it saves my mum paying a dog-walker for one day a week, plus I get some exercise. Today, Barley - for it is he - was particularly keen to go out, and delighted to say hello to everyone we met on the way; including an 18-week-old sausage dog who didn't quite know what to make of the huge Digby-like beast who was so desperate to greet him; vive la différence. Yes, that's right: ‘French’. After that, I spent the afternoon battling with a mobile phone provider that ironically started life in the self-same village. Or maybe I misremembered that. Either way, it made for an irritating distraction, which ate up far too much time and meant I got a lo...

I caught the bus to Stotfold this morning to walk my mum's dog Barley.  I do this most Thursdays when I'm available, which helps my mum out, as it's one day less to pay a dog-walker while she's at work (and my rates are very reasonable), and it's good for me too, as it's an excuse to get some exercise. While I walk a lot through not driving, it's nice to occasionally do it for the sake of it, without having a particular destination in mind (other than my mum's house to take the dog back). Barley is the softest beast you could meet. He's the epitome of friendliness; always pleased to see you and unlikely to misbehave (save gobbling up the occasional bit of rubbish from the pavement, if you briefly take your eye off the game. I once saw him eat another dog's poo, which wasn't his finest moment).  When we got back from our spot of Stotfold exploration, Barley and my mum's cat Chaser sat with me w...

Today, in a change to the usual theme, I've managed to fit time for relaxation around my work.  I caught the bus to Stotfold this morning, to walk my mum's dog. I do this once a week, when I'm available. I meditated on the bus, which helped me to start the day on a calmer note. I arrived at my mum's house to find Barley (the dog) staring through the front window. When he spotted me, he couldn't conceal his excitement. He was all over me when I opened the door. He's a contender for the Friendliest Dog on the Planet.  We took our usual route around the village, meeting a doting woman (over Barley, not me) and some cats along the way. We then walked around the circumference of the park before going home, where he sat at my feet while I made a sandwich, like the faithful hound that he is.   On the bus back to Hitchin I sent a few emails, trying to chase a line-up for our forthcoming Mostly Comedy Summer Special. It's proving a challenge. Booking acts...

I spent the morning of my thirty-fourth birthday (which is today) walking my mum’s dog. It was a nice way to spend it. He’s always pleased to see me and he’s good company. I tend to walk him most Thursdays, but I haven’t been able to for the last few weeks, due to other commitments. I think he still remembered me, though he’d probably give the same enthusiastic reaction to anyone who turned up at the door. He’s not much of a guard dog, that boy. I began the day by running for the bus. This is always a good way to start. By the time I sat down, I was sweating copiously. I was surrounded by teenagers on their way to school; all far more comfortable in their own skin at that moment than me. How can this be the case, when I’m in my mid-thirties? The more I tried to control my perspiration, the worse it got. I looked like a human water feature. I managed to get my secretory glands in control by the time I got off, which was a relief. I didn’t wa...

I started the day by asking my wife how to spell fellatio. Ours isn’t a usual relationship. She’s my secret proofreader. I’m always asking her to check over blogs, press releases or Tweets. So much so, she probably finds it irritating. I hope not. I appreciate the help. She’s as pernickety about grammar as me; if she signs something off I know it’s okay.   As a side issue, I was disappointed no-one responded to my BBC Breakfast Tweet. I thought it was good. Perhaps it would have been more successful if I’d referred to the sexual act in layman’s terms. Either that, or said that the person out of shot looks like Father Ted. Other than posting childish tweets, I’ve been getting about. I had a chiropractor appointment this morning that was not a moment too late. My neck has been uncomfortable for weeks. I keep catching myself holding my head at a slightly jaunty angle and then rectifying it. I’ve also been suffering from my regular off-and-on condition, labyrint...

I'm thinking of starting my own course in Pavement Etiquette. I used to assume I was the root of the problem; that I was an inept pedestrian. I've since learnt that this isn't the case. It's everyone else. No-one knows where they're going. The instance that signposted this to me the most happened a few weeks ago, when I got off the train from London to Hitchin after a casting, at the exact  moment that secondary schools were turfing their students out. I walked along the narrow pathway out of the station that runs along a main road, straight into the path of a gang of kids spread out across the pavement. When I reached them, they made absolutely no attempt to move over and let me past. There was no malice behind it (it was probably down to their teenage lack of empathy). It just wasn't a consideration. My only option was to step into the main road; something I did both grudgingly and swearingly. It's not just the younger generation (am I old eno...

I’m starting to think that most people exist in a vacuum, completely unaware of anything going on around them. I spend far too much time trying to negotiate my way past people on the street who walk without any spatial awareness. This is particularly exhausting at the moment, as I’m suffering from labyrinthitis*. I feel like I’m constantly leaping from one potential collision to the next. Some travel at a snail’s pace, whilst staring at their phone. Others walk one way while facing another. Sometimes, whole families spread out across the pavement, creating the pedestrian equivalent to the Israeli West Bank Barrier. God forbid anyone who wants to squeeze past. Perhaps it's just me. Am I an inept pedestrian? Whatever it may be, I'm often the only one who's prepared to apologise, whether the near-smash was my fault or not. The world would be a happier and easier place to live in if we spared a thought for others, rather tha...