mostly david ephgrave

I tried to apply a practical mind today by doing some gardening to prevent my incoming directionlessness mindset from scuppering my day. The current circumstances, both personally and on a wider scale, feel like the perfect storm for low mood and lethargy. Meanwhile, I'm standing at Ground Zero, steeling myself against my depressive susceptibility (like Gandalf, dosed up on citalopram, screaming, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"). At least I'm prepared for this, having spent years attempting to carefully manage my mental health to varying degrees of success. The pandemic, however, has left many people who've never considered what's a healthy strategy to stave off depression and anxiety, ankle-deep in a river of faeces, sans paddle. And that precise location, for those of you familiar with the app what3words, is fuckwit.johnson.shame. The change of scenery from laptop to garden definitely helped, as did focusing on a physical task. It's like when I disappear for an ho...

I’m feeling a little rudderless at the moment. It’s not that I’m not doing things; I managed to fit in a lot yesterday, including trying to programme some work-in-progress dates on the Brighton Fringe in May, doing admin for ‘Now Who’s a Comedian?’ at next February’s Leicester Comedy Festival, booking acts for Mostly Comedy, emailing agents for my Leicester Square Theatre shows in a fortnight and sorting through some rubbish at home…but I took no satisfaction in any of it; it felt like delay tactics. In truth, I’m finding it hard to motivate myself after Edinburgh and to set to work on something new without some kind of positive change to act as a catalyst. A lot of this stems from my tiredness at the endless self-generating with little outside influence. I’m bored of spending more time as a comedy promoter - which I never intended to be - than anything else. I care about Mostly Comedy and am proud of its accomplishments, but I’d like to be back to...