mostly david ephgrave

I didn’t expect there to be much to tweet about tonight’s University Challenge, as it was one of the Christmas specials with ‘real’ ‘people’ as contestants, but it turns out I was wrong. For starters, one of the teams - Manchester - barely scraped their way past the zero mark on the scoreboard, despite being amongst the college’s top-tier alumni; I guess this was just the way the questions fell. I was also surprised that all of St Anne’s Oxford team were women ; a rarity on such a middle-class white male-led show. This was great, particularly when they trounced Manchester so perfectly. See below for tonight’s UC Twitter ramblings. As to whether I'll keep this up for the rest of the Chrimbo series, we’ll have to wait and shall see. I’m sure the nation will be on tenterhooks as to what my decision will be. Manchester Vs. St. Anne's - Oxford (19.12.16( 8:03pm: "Ivor Nowello". 8:04pm: ...and he don't know it. 8:05pm: Too many women...

Don’t let the fact I’m taking part in the biggest arts festival in the world make you think I’ve lost sight of my priorities; if there’s an episode of University Challenge airing, I’ll always do my best to live-tweet it. …and what a cracker it was tonight, with a hairy / bearded man of dubious style and questionable fashion choices on each team. I know I shouldn’t be so unkind when I watch it, but as I’ve said before, this meanness stems entirely from jealousy; if not for the students’ look, then for their obvious intelligence. At their age, I could barely even remember my own name. Oriel Oxford Vs. Manchester (08.08.16) 7:31pm: Paxman's hair, channeling John Craven. 7:32pm: Tobias? TOBIAS? 7:32pm: "I'm Joseph Bath and I NEED A BATH.” 7:33pm: Siantonas, son of John Cleese's mountain-exploding character in The Holy Grail. 7:34pm: Bath thinks he's in Bon Jovi. 7:34pm: There's no subs...

While I know I probably shouldn’t stoop to this level, every week I find myself switching on University Challenge, and settling down for a spot of low-level Twitter bullying. I know it’s not acceptable to be like this to any group of people, thought that said, it can be a lot of fun. It goes some small way to redress the balance between their high and my slightly lower intellect. Here are today’s tweets. I promise I’m quite a nice chap in person, so don’t judge me. Liverpool Vs. Warwick. 8:02pm: Kurek is channelling the character Harry Enfield used to do in the opening credits of Harry Enfield & Chums. 8:05pm: Van's follicles are so potent, his hair grows while you watch. 8:06pm: Van was created in a laboratory. 8:06pm: Kurek owns a sex dungeon. 8:10pm: Van modelled his look on Sully from Monsters Inc. 8:11pm: Paxman's still rocking that middle-aged woman's hairstyle look. ...