mostly david ephgrave

I found myself trapped in a confusing conversation today whilst ordering breakfast in Wetherspoons. I was there for a business meeting with Glyn - because there’s no better backdrop than a cheap chain pub - and had decided to opt for porridge for frühstück sitting number two (having already had cornflakes before leaving the house) with no inkling of the corner I was about to paint myself into. Now, it’s necessary for the ‘spoon-uninitiated to know they serve porridge in two varieties - with honey and banana or with blueberries - and I normally plump for the former, though this wasn’t possible today. “What would you like, sir”, asked the bar staff in an attempt to sound formal while also making me feel I shouldn’t be there. “Porridge with honey and banana, please”, I replied. “We’re out of bananas.” “Oh, okay…in which case, can I have it without the banana?” “No, it’s been taken off the till” Ironically, I usually carry a...