mostly david ephgrave

If a typical episode of the Bake Off isn’t enough to raise your blood pressure, tonight they made biscuit chandeliers. This was the Blue Peter Advent Crown, Tracey Island and Mark Curry punching the head of a Lego statue all rolled into one, or like fifteen baby elephants excreting on the floor of Television Centre while the nation watched; I’ve never been so tense and I suffer from anxiety. It’s fair to say I watch each installment of GBBO through clenched fingers, and with every passing week it gets harder to see through the gaps, but tonight's took the biscuit, to use an obvious pun; the idea of presenting them as a mobile seems alien to someone who keeps his in barrel (and one the size of a water butt). While tonight’s viewing was tense I still summed up the courage to tweet along at safe intervals. See below for what was said and when. 8:02PM: Today, Terry's come disguised as a stereotypical Frenchman. 8:07PM: ...

Like many people across the UK, I spoilered myself in the wake of Prue Leith’s accidental Twitter announcement of the winner of this year’s Bake Off this morning in advance of tonight’s broadcast, rather than watch it in ignorance, when so many of the nation (my wife included) already knew the outcome. To be fair to myself, I didn’t actually look it up, instead letting my wife tell me when she got home from work, as I didn’t like the thought of her knowing and me not while we watched it together; I in fact predicted who it was and was instantly disappointed, as I’ve not been able to warm to Sophie, what with her cold tone and her know-it-all way. I may have misheard it, but I could have sworn I heard her describe baking as “a calling”, which could have caused me to vomit up a limb; I don’t know how anyone could use terminology like that without a hint of irony. First off, here are a couple of tweets I fired off in response to today's accidental BBC message: 3:...