mostly david ephgrave

I feel like most of my evening has been wasted, through trying to set up my new mobile phone. Such is the way with modern technology. While it’s always exciting to be armed with a new bit of kit, far too much time can be spent initially, in making it work. All those fail-safe ways to quickly transfer data or install a backup never seem to work in practise, or maybe it’s just me. It doesn’t help that every moment devoted to setting up my new handset should really have been given over to something else, such as compiling material for next week’s Bath Comedy Festival work-in-progress dates. I purposely upgraded my phone before I went to Bath, so I could make the most of its facilities for recording my sets and putting together the show. I’m still pleased I did this, I just wish I hadn’t taken so long to do things today, as it feels like another day was lost that could have been used for more important things. Other than wrestling with my new B...

I spent most of the day wrestling with my mobile phone, trying to make sure my contacts are backed up before I take it to the shop to be repaired and risk losing my handset. (You're in for a riveting read today.)  This should have been easier than it was. The software on my phone and laptop should have dealt with it sufficiently, but of course, as with most technology, I couldn't get it to work. I downloaded various apps to do it, none of which would back everything up. I looked on forums for advice. I deleted and reinstalled software, to no avail. I was like I was trying to do something seriously outlandish.  In the end, I resorted to the old-fashioned method of copying my address book out manually. I roped my wife into typing the numbers into an Excel spreadsheet as I read them out; we know how to relax. I can now visit the Vodafone shop tomorrow, safe in the knowledge  that I can text my friends and colleagues afterwards, to let them know how it went. Most ...

I’m using a replacement mobile phone for the next few days as mine is faulty . In the meantime I shall closely resemble a member of my dad’s generation as I try to fathom out how to work it. It took long enough to set it to vibrate. No function is stored in the logical place. I felt like I was using somebody else’s hands. Frustratingly, the people in-store were unable to migrate my contacts to my replacement handset. For the next week or so, answering my phone will be an exercise in pot luck. Each call could be someone offering me work or asking for money, with absolutely no warning as to which. If only I'd been clever enough to memorise my numbers. If I had, I could have gone on You Bet!. That's their exclamation mark, not mine. I’ve sent off my old phone because of an abnormally high bill due to an inexplicably massive use of data. I normally pay around £50 a month; my last bill was £256! That exclamation mark was mine . ...

The other day, I added Weetabix to my mobile phone’s dictionary. The time had come to make a commitment. (I’m referring to the word Weetabix, rather than the actual product. You wouldn't want flakes of wheat clogging up your phone’s inner mechanism.) There are only so many breakfast-related texts you can send before you get sick of the little red wavy line that clutters them up . This is meant to assist you, but only winds you up, particularly when you know you’ve spelt the word correctly. It also plays havoc with your OCD; it’s a lose-lose situation. It’s surprising that a food invented nearly a century ago with a name in common parlance has yet to achieve the distinction of being listed on a smartphone’s memory. This might just be the case with a BlackBerry Q10, though there’s only so much research I’m prepared to do on the subject. I’m not going to buy an iPhone to find out. (While Weetabix isn’t recognised by BlackBerry, it is by Microsoft Word. I spy a Bill ...

I think you know the game's nearly up for your current mobile phone when you have to wedge a plectrum into the bottom of it to make it work. I have a BlackBerry Curve (for those interested in technical detail). It's pretty indispensable; not just for obvious uses, such as texts, calls and email, but also to store ideas and photographs for mine and Glyn 's material. Look through most other people's mobile photo albums and you'll find pictures of friends, family and pets; go through mine and you'll find scores of badly-worded signs, odd window displays and amusing screen-grabs I've pulled from the internet. This is my rather depressing legacy. What I like most about my BlackBerry is that it has both a touch-screen and a qwerty keyboard - which, for me, offers the best of both worlds. I’ve never wanted to own an iPhone, or any other smartphone with just a touch-screen facility. I may be in a minority, but I’m happy for it. Sadly, this ...