mostly david ephgrave

I have an annoying habit of playing for laughs in social situations. I did it a couple of times in my meditation class tonight. It wasn’t anything big – I didn’t launch into a stand-up routine or any Norman Wisdom-style pratfalls – but I still found time to slip the odd joke into our group discussion and pull faces at an opportune moments; call me Phil Cool. No, seriously… CALL ME IT . I guess it’s just my way and I shouldn’t judge it too much, but I find it particularly irritating when I do it when I’m not feeling my best. Sometimes you don’t want to be outwardly jovial, but for me it’s like a reflex – and as I do it, like tonight, a voice inside my head says, “I bet everyone here thinks I’m a dick”. Hopefully that voice is my saving grace, and the fact that I’m questioning whether people are being irritated by me stops me from becoming too tiresome myself. Though at least if I am getting on everyone else’s nerves, we’re all in agreement;...

I sometimes find it hard to hold an accurate representation in my head of how a gig went. Tonight was a good case in point. I did a five minute spot at a new material night. I was second on in the second half, following one of the most hate-filled acts I've ever seen. The MC even introduced him as such. It was a character act, well-observed and well-delivered, yet almost impossible to follow, with such a short set. I became a space-filler while people got their breath back. I know my place.  If I'd realised before, I would have planned a more attacking, energised set. As it was, I'd decided to go with some of my gentler, story-based material. In the few minutes before going on, I mulled over whether to adapt. I decided to stick with it. My intention had been to work some newer stuff in, so work it in I must.  As I stood at the mic, I became aware of the vacuum I needed to fill. The audience seemed quiet and tired, and I felt like I wasn't getting the story ...