mostly david ephgrave

Today I shared a chocolate orange with Sarah Graham . It was an emotional experience.  I was grateful for her assistance. I have an unnerving habit of eating them in one sitting. It's not a side of myself I'm proud of. Until now, it was a dirty secret. By getting this out in the open, I hope to be released from it. It's time I satiated my Chocolate Orange Demon.  (That's not a euphemism).  I didn't buy the Chocolate Orange myself. My mum gave it to me, to thank me for walking her dog. It's a fair swap. Does it count as payment? If so, do I have to declare it? I wasn't aware of the minefield it represents. While I ate most of it, I felt less guilty for not  ingesting every segment. I also made Sarah a cup of tea using Doggett & Ephgrave's undersized kettle. You can only boil a mug's-worth at a time. Once switched on, it can't be switched off. If you plug it in when it's empty, it's a potential deathtap. At least it mak...

Ladies and gentleman, pray silence for My First Digger. It's not really mine. It belongs to someone else. I spotted it on my way into town last Sunday. Its tininess was astounding. Driving across even the most modest building site would take an aeon. Its size almost negates the point of using it; you may as well bend down and pick the the dirt up yourself. Operating it would make me self-conscious. I’d worry it was going to topple over at any moment. It looks like a ride you'd see outside a supermarket. Either that, or it’s a prop from an aborted Transformers / Short Circuit movie mash-up. I never knew that Fisher Price made construction equipment. Maybe I’m the one that's not to scale. See Exhibits A, B and C for reference. It’s all a question of perspective.