mostly david ephgrave

All good things must come to an end; so it was for the 1970s Briers / Kendal vehicle ‘The Good Life’, for the Libyan revolutionary Colonel Gaddafi (say it out loud), for the lesser-known Nelly Furtado song and for this year’s Christmas University Challenge. Where will we be without my daily written commentary? Where would be, indeed. Well, essentially we'd be in the same position as we are now, only with five hours of my time and whatever-time-matches-your-reading-speed better off. Still, it kept you busy for a bit and it kept me off the street. See below for my coverage of the final between St Hilda’s Oxford and Leeds. After that, your time’s your own. Use it wisely, my friend(s). Leeds Vs. St Hilda's Oxford (29.12.16) 7:30pm: It's the Final (#UniversityChallenge) Countdown.  7:31pm: Ahmed looks like a Jeff Goldblum / my-friend-Ash hybrid. 7:32 Steve Bell is what would happen if Robert Palmer swallowed Noel Edmonds...

As the festive season - and 2016 in fact - nearly draws to a close, so does my relentless coverage of the Christmas series of University Challenge. Admittedly, I’ve not been so organised as to live-tweet every show - I do have a vague semblance of a social life - but I have been good enough to at least go through the motions as if I had, by catching up on the few episodes I missed and noting down what I would have said if I’d watched them when they were broadcast. Some might ask why the hell I’ve done this. Those some can go to hell. This is just the sort of thing I do (plus it gives me a bit of a break from posting a prose blog every day which, as another year of doing this comes to an end, is much appreciated; it’s much easier to think in 140-character bursts. See below for my commentary on the final semi-final (poor choice of wording) between St Anne’s and St Hilda’s Oxford; it’s a veritable roller-coaster ride, of course. St Anne...

Tonight was notable for two reasons: (1) I managed to watch and tweet along to the University Challenge Christmas special, which I keep missing and not doing ‘live’ over the last few days, and (2) for the debate that kicked off regarding the beasts on Paul Ross’ shirt. On first glance, I was certain his outfit was covered in rams, but soon found out they were actually dogs, which was a shock to the system, as I’d never had difficulty distinguishing between the two species in the past. How will I ever be able to trust my own instincts again, when I so clearly made such a grave misstep tonight? How often to I get my creatures mixed up? Thank God I’m not a veterinary surgeon, or I’d be responsible for some terrible, terrible things. See below for my tweets and for the clothing debate; enjoy. Kent Vs. Leeds (27.12.16) 7:31pm: Paul Ross: such a Kent. 7:33pm: Shiulie Ghosh isn't gauche. 7:37pm: Paul Ross' shirt has a ...

Today sees another Twitter summary - this time on yesterday’s festive edition of University Challenge - that was posted without the use of the aforementioned social media site, due to missing the episode’s broadcast. See below for what I'd have cattily posted, had I been watching the show when it went out (which is ironic, as it was compiled whilst cuddling and fussing over a neighbour’s ridiculous cat). How’s that for a back-story?  Bristol Vs. Nottingham (26.12.16) 6:22pm: When it's cold, Kate prefers to sleep with the Quilton.  6:24pm: Hawkins looks like he’s enjoyed the odd Early Breakfast.  6:25pm: Spalding's sporting a Murray mint necklace.  6:26: “You stunted fir”: a great insult.  6:27pm: I enjoyed Hutton's evil post- Frankenstein laugh.  6:28pm: Krestovnikoff / Krestovnikon.  6:29pm: This show's a lot less fun with real, well-rounded adults. 6:30pm: The answ...

In my keenness to cover yesterday’s Strictly Come Dancing Christmas special on Twitter, I neglected to do the same with the same day’s Christmas University Challenge. As with Friday’s show, which I missed when it went out and then covered in a iPlayer-and -smart-phone faux-Twitter simulation, I watched my forgotten episode today (see below). It seems my last blogs of 2016 will be mostly tweet summaries, which is a laidback way to round things off; next year, I’ll post just a single word here a day. Magdalene - Cambridge Vs. St Hilda's - Oxford (25.12.16) 6:45pm If you’re lucky, I'll show you my distinguished alumni. 6:46pm: Note Paxman gave Patrick Moore the prefix 'popular’, while Brian May was just 'Queen guitarist'.  6:47pm: Film producer Newell doesn't look very happy about it.  6:47pm: "Clemency". Of course. 6:48pm: Imagine how high pitched a Jimmy Somerville college would be. 6:...

While I missed yesterday’s University Challenge, the completest in me couldn’t leave it at that. You can’t tweet along to every other show in the Christmas series and leave one out; well, you can’t if you’re me. So instead, I decided to watch it on iPlayer, documenting what I would have blurted on Twitter had I seen it when it went out. See below for what might have been... Edinburgh Vs. St Catharine's - Cambridge (23.12.16) 7:01pm: The university of Clark Kent.  7:02pm: The name Cockburn: no comment.  7:04pm: Next to these people, I've achieved ZILCH. 7:04pm: Ears. 7:06pm: "Teaching fellow,” as in "Teaching chap"? 7:06pm: Wothers Originals. 7:07pm: I had a Stirling Cockburn once; my GP referred me to a specialist, because it hurt when I Pidd. 7:08pm: I said Chrysler Building too; I'm a genius.  7:09pm: The red mark on the French map looks like a Gorbach...

In years to come, when the BBC have long deleted the current Christmas series of University Challenge - in the same way they did with all those early Hancock’s Half Hours and Doctor Whos - my blog will stand as a testament. How else will we remember the barbed witticism Paxman made at Dom Joly’s expense, or which contestant correctly identified a smaller type of harpsichord as a spinet? I’m providing a vital service by documenting some of our country’s finest quiz-show output; transcribing events as they happen (or at least as they occur in a pre-recorded programme when it airs). I’m like a shit Samuel Pepys. See below for tonight’s tweets; you’ll thank me one day. SOAS - London Vs. Leeds (22.12.16) 7:32pm: Paxo's autobiography (if he hasn't already written one) will be called Fulfilling Contractual Obligations Grudgingly. 7:33pm: Warren's turning Japanese (he really thinks so). 7:34pm: Cultural Commenta...

While I’m enjoying the current daily instalments of University Challenge, I’ll be glad when they go back to the standard shows. It’s not as fun to mock the ex-students; they’re just too well-established. I’ve nothing bad to say about Samira Ahmed or Wilko Johnson, for example, and I sure as hell can’t play ‘Spot the Murderer’ with them, or ‘Sniff Out the Most Socially Inept’. The last few episodes have been so alarmingly twat-free, I’ve almost abandoned my usual piss-taking and actually listened to the questions. See below for tonight’s Twitter banter: normal service will be resumed when they bring the knobheads back. City - London Vs. Newcastle (21.12.16) 7:32pm: Paxman looks world-weary tonight; I bet they threatened to overrule him. 7:33pm: "Their captain has been broadcasting for over twenty years". Long programme. 7:34pm: Needell loves it. 7:35pm: Newcastle's Scales was hit by a very precise gust ...