Strictly Come Tweeting 2017: Week Three (30.09.17)

It's fair to say tonight’s Strictly further cemented my love of Debbie McGee.

Not only is she genuinely lovely (as I can vouch from her visit to Mostly Comedy with her late husband Paul Daniels a few years back) she’s also a brilliant performer, with so much energy, ability and sparkle. It helped that she was dancing to one of my favourite Billy Joel songs, She's Always a Woman, and the routine matched the beauty of the song perfectly, but then it’s not as if she needs the assistance; I hope she remains in the competition for a good few weeks to come so we can enjoy more of her versatility.

Outside of Debbie’s dance, I didn’t really feel tonight’s show so much, though it’s fair to say Alexandra Burke knocked her routine out of the metaphorical park. I also liked Jonnie Peacock’s dance to Johnny B Goode, though I only just noticed the reason for the song choice; I’m a little slow at times...unlike him.

See below for tonight’s tweets:

6:48PM: One thing's certain: when you have an audience made from the general public & live music there'll be on-beat handclapping aplenty.

6:51PM: Tess' trouser/dress mash-up is the clothing equivalent to a cut-and-shut Vauxhall Cavalier sold by a shifty backalley car dealer.

6:54PM: The gratuitous shots of the box of #Strictly cereal during Chizzy's foxtrot is a typical example of BBC product placement.

7:02PM: Aston Merrygold is a village in Essex.

7:05PM: All that keeping hold of Janette while throwing her about was done with magnets.

7:06PM: Stupid beard though.

7:11PM: If I was doing this routine, I'd have stayed in the dock.

7:15PM: Please don't cut to Piers Morgan...please don't cut to Piers Morgan...

7:18PM: Charlotte Hawkins' dress was the glitter sash curtain from Bullseye in a former life.

7:25PM: *Cue a coming-out-of-the-closet joke*

7:27PM: The use of the wardrobe during Joe's routine is the perfect cue for a judge "You came out.." comment.

7:37PM: Bruno Tonioli is fitted with an electronic tag and has a 10pm curfew to keep him in check.

7:39PM: Well, I thought Brian Conley was great.

7:42PM: When Gemma and Aljaž's routine started, I was worried they didn't realise they were facing the wrong way.

7:47PM: Craig Revel Horwood's hair tonight is a bit 'There's Something About Mary'.

7:52PM: The Reverend Richard Coles is the best thing for the Church of England since Henry VIII.

8:02PM: Eamonn Holmes' left hand meeting his right across his waist is similar to the Keymaster meeting the Gatekeeper in Ghostbusters.

8:04PM: When Liverpool play Everton, it's more a case of You'll Never Walk Again.

8:09PM: I've got sperm older than AJ.

8:11PM: "The lights are on, but you're not home": the perfect burglar deterrent.

8:19PM: The length of Oti's legs is an immeasurable distance.

8:23PM: Bruno is filthier than Keith Moon's Uncle Ernie.

8:28PM: Debbie's Viennese Waltz to She's Always a Woman; beautiful song, beautiful routine.

8:35PM: Well, I've never seen anyone dressed like that in Stevenage library.

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...

'...I'm Gonna Look at You 'til My Eyes Go Blind."

Over the past week or two, I’ve been on a bit of a Sheryl Crow kick, largely thanks to rediscovering her cover of one of my most-liked Bob Dylan songs. She has one of my favourite female voices, yet despite this, I only own one CD and that’s just a single (her '97 release ‘Hard to Make a Stand’); on that basis, you can only imagine how much of her back catalogue I’d own if I hated her (it would fall into minus-figures). Dylan, conversely, takes up more of my collection than anyone else, save The Beatles and Paul McCartney’s solo work. He’s one of those artists who, when you get him, you really get him - and once I’d tuned into his style as a student, I'd time and again be blown away by his lyrics; he’ll have more jaw-dropping imagery in one track than other people fit in a whole career. These days, I mostly listen to music in the morning when getting ready, and more often than not, this will consist of a suggested YouTube playlist when I’m in the bath, r...

"Speaking Words of Wisdom, Let it Shine."

Tonight saw the second instalment of BBC1’s latest advertise-a-musical-for-months-and-then-cast-it-with-performers-too-inexperienced-to-do-it-a-thon ‘Let it S̶h̶i̶t̶e̶ Shine’ (or as I call it: ‘REAL AUDITIONS ARE NOTHING LIKE THIS’). I didn’t watch it (clearly), but being reminded of how angry seeing just five minutes of it made me last week caused me to mull over what I would call a musical based on the band’s songbook, if I was responsible for it. Here are a my suggestions: IDEAS FOR TITLE OF A TAKE THAT MUSICAL: Barlow! Dirty Fat-Dancing Orange! A Million Love-changes-everything Songs Owen! Howard's End Pray Misérables Mamma Marka! Babe (with a pig as the lead) …BUT MY FAVOURITE HAS TO BE: Jason & His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. "It was Orange, Orange, Orange, Orange..." (TAKE) THAT’S ENOUGH OF (TAKE) THAT.

mostly david ephgrave

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