GBBO 2016: Volume Six (28.09.16)

There's something about the autumn that finds me constantly tweeting along to the TV.

It probably looks like I’ve nothing better to do with my time, though in a way, it’s a time-saver, as it indirectly gives me a bit of a break from finding things to discuss here; I’ll often abandon my usual prose-based blogs, in favour of a summary of my Twitter ramblings on whichever show was on that night; it’s not my fault that University Challenge, Strictly Come Dancing and The Great British Bake Off all air at once.

Tonight’s Bake Off was a pastry-case in point. See below for what came to mind whilst watching this evening's show. At the risk of a spoiler, it was a shame to see Rav go. Did you also know that Bruce Willis was dead in Sixth Sense? When it comes to spoiling people’s fun, I’m the best.

8:02pm: I'll probably tweet along with #GBBO for a bit; apologies to the uninterested.

8:04pm: Just a few minutes in, and I miss Val's unique brand of confused insanity already.

8:05pm: "This cake's systematic...(STING)...aromatic...(STING)..."

8:06pm: "The bakers can use anything that grows"; INSERT EUPHEMISM HERE.

8:08pm: Paul and Selasi wrestling. PICTURE IT.

8:08pm: I dumped a meringue once. I don't want to talk about it.

8:09pm: Andrew loves ginger; too easy.

8:12pm: Paul and Selasi, trimming each other's beards. Erotic.

8:12pm: I'll paint the inside of YOUR bag.

8:14pm: My favourite curd is Sharaf Khan Bidlisi.

8:16pm: I'm drowning in a sea of euphemisms.

8:20pm: So much fury over meringues.

8:21pm: There was no need for Candice to call Mary a tart. No need.

8:22pm: Only Selasi could look so manly in a floral t-shirt.

8:25pm: Looking forward to someone making a slip-up saying "fougasse".

8:29pm: Is Tom wearing that blue glove so they can CGI his right hand in later?

8:31pm: Bake your fougasse at fougasse-mark two.

8:32pm: Fougasse: because I like bread with a letterbox in it.

8:35pm: Say what you like, but #GBBO has done wonders for the glockenspiel underscoring industry.

8:37pm: Thanks to #GBBO, glockenspiel-playing session musicians are quids-in.

8:39pm: To give myself a taste of this week's #GBBO, showstopper, I'm sucking on an old lady's bar of soap.

8:45pm: To add to the poppy-seed theme, Benjamina should throw in a little Heroin.

8:46pm: I wish someone would pipe my buttercream flowers.

8:48pm: *Visions of Mary Berry post-hash-cake.*

8:50pm: Top marks to Candice for the look of her four-tier cake

8:52pm: It's shame Val's not still in this week: she was a fruitcake.

8:54pm: Watching #GBBO, eating pot pourri.

8:58pm: Not only does Selasi's showstopper look sensational, it also matches his outfit.

9:00pm: This week's decision was difficult. It was "lemon lemon difficult"

Not The Bayeux One.

The Carole King album Tapestry has been my 'getting-ready-in-the-morning' soundtrack for the past few weeks. It's been a favourite album ever since I was a student, which makes for a pleasantly gentle way to usher in the start of a day. I've always been a fan of a well-crafted song, which is something of a Carole King hallmark, ever since she started writing with her first husband in the early Sixties. Tapestry may be an unimaginative choice for a favourite LP, as it suggests I haven't delved that far into her career, but it's still an undoubted classic; anything with '(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman', 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?' and 'You've Got A Friend' on it can't really fail; if nothing else, it proves she likes writing songs with long titles. Next month, she's set to perform the album live in its entirety for the first time at a gig in Hyde Park, which I would have loved to have gone to, if it weren...

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...

Hitchin is Mine.

As of six o’clock tonight, I take over the Hitchin is Yours Twitter account for a week; a stewardship I’m anxious to get right. I’m proud of my hometown. It’s a great place to live, with so much going for it. I've always sold it to my non-Hitchinite friends; so much so, that a lot have gone on to move here. Any town expansion plans are partly my fault. Feel free to picket outside my house. I love its history and architecture. Take St Mary’s Church, for example. The building is beautiful inside and out, and huge for a town of our size. There has been a place of worship on site since the 7 th Century. Much of the present building dates from the 1300s. You wouldn't get that in America. (Don't forget the British Schools Museum too.) Hitchin is a hive for creative people and a hub for the arts. It boast two theatres, two comedy clubs, a couple of art galleries, a festival for world music and a thriving music scene. This drew...

mostly david ephgrave

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