Skip to main content

'University Challenged: Week Thirty-Three' (02.04.18)


I’ve grown bored of University Challenge of late, yet I still for the most part watch and live-tweet it.

Part of the problem stems from feeling the BBC are currently getting Quizzy Monday wrong (in the much same way Alan Partridge expressed anger at Lynn, Michael and Michael’s friend Tex for getting James Bond wrong); Only Connect always felt like the sorbet dessert to University Challenge’s slightly stodgy main course, and now they’ve been switched, UC feels positively miserable in its new position.

It doesn’t help that Paxman is so rude and unprofessional; I don’t understand how he gets away with it, yet get away with it he still tends to. It’s like he doesn’t want to be there and feels the need to make this as clear as possible; people have been sacked for less.

Despite going off the whole thing, here are today’s tweets: 

Newcastle Vs. Fitzwilliam - Cambridge (02.04.18)

8:33PM: Lowery tells the time solely by sundial, but is deeply suspicious of it.

8:34PM: The longer you look, the closer Oxlade's eyes get.

8:34PM: If you're young and wear a bow tie, you shouldn't.

8:35PM: Little known fact: Lowery's wearing tracksuit bottoms.

8:38PM: Lowery owns a zoetrope in place of a television.

8:39PM: Howe's shirt's been through the wash too many times.

8:43PM: Lowery likes to unwind by playing the spinet.

8:44PM: No-one has ever said Lesbos with such authority.

8:45PM: I was going to make a joke about Lowery using a fob watch, then I noticed the chain and realised he DOES use a fob watch.

8:49PM: Lowery once got such a huge static shock while getting out of a car, he flew fifty foot into the air and was unconscious for three weeks.

8:52PM: Lowery's flesh visibly steams when he walks in a Sports Direct.

8:53PM: Lowery's as brittle as a Kendal mint cake.

8:55PM: Lowery has a note from his mum excluding him.

8:59PM: Imagine Lowery walking around Newcastle.
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

'...I'm Gonna Look at You 'til My Eyes Go Blind."

Over the past week or two, I’ve been on a bit of a Sheryl Crow kick, largely thanks to rediscovering her cover of one of my most-liked Bob Dylan songs. She has one of my favourite female voices, yet despite this, I only own one CD and that’s just a single (her '97 release ‘Hard to Make a Stand’); on that basis, you can only imagine how much of her back catalogue I’d own if I hated her (it would fall into minus-figures). Dylan, conversely, takes up more of my collection than anyone else, save The Beatles and Paul McCartney’s solo work. He’s one of those artists who, when you get him, you really get him - and once I’d tuned into his style as a student, I'd time and again be blown away by his lyrics; he’ll have more jaw-dropping imagery in one track than other people fit in a whole career. These days, I mostly listen to music in the morning when getting ready, and more often than not, this will consist of a suggested YouTube playlist when I’m in the bath, r...
Read more

"Speaking Words of Wisdom, Let it Shine."

Tonight saw the second instalment of BBC1’s latest advertise-a-musical-for-months-and-then-cast-it-with-performers-too-inexperienced-to-do-it-a-thon ‘Let it S̶h̶i̶t̶e̶ Shine’ (or as I call it: ‘REAL AUDITIONS ARE NOTHING LIKE THIS’). I didn’t watch it (clearly), but being reminded of how angry seeing just five minutes of it made me last week caused me to mull over what I would call a musical based on the band’s songbook, if I was responsible for it. Here are a my suggestions: IDEAS FOR TITLE OF A TAKE THAT MUSICAL: Barlow! Dirty Fat-Dancing Orange! A Million Love-changes-everything Songs Owen! Howard's End Pray Misérables Mamma Marka! Babe (with a pig as the lead) …BUT MY FAVOURITE HAS TO BE: Jason & His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. "It was Orange, Orange, Orange, Orange..." (TAKE) THAT’S ENOUGH OF (TAKE) THAT.
Read more