Skip to main content

GBBO 2016: Volume Ten (26.10.16)


And so, that’s it. The last BBC series of The Great British Bake Off draws to a close, with an ending more emotional than the final shot of Blackadder Goes Forth spliced with the snowman melting to the tune of Aled Jones.

It’s sad to think it’s done, and the dream team of Mel, Sue, Paul & Mary must part (until the BBC entices the majority of them back with a different format). In the same way that Brexit means Brexit, C4 no doubt means C4. Still, it was fun while it lasted. Who knows?: maybe the move will breathe new life into the proverbial oven; we’ll have to wait and see.

Below you’ll find tonight's live tweets. I’m glad Candice won, though I did mourn the lack of Selasi. How long before he hosts a show with Nadiya? Not long, I hope.

8:01pm: Continuity Announcer: "...but who will be crowned as the winner?" (Answer: Love Productions, at £25million).

8:02pm: Andrew Eddie Red(head)mayne.

8:03pm: Paul Hollywood. Hands in pockets. Cowboy stance. YES.

8:04pm: Paul Hollywood's beard looks a computer mouse.

8:06pm: Please, God, don't let next year's Bake Off be hosted by Tess Daly.

8:07pm: Andrew: "I'm looking for stiff peaks." Aren't we all, Andrew. Aren't we all.

8:11pm: Anyone with a many-layered hairstyle like Jane's should be able to bake a well-rendered meringue crown.

8:13pm: Why isn't anyone making a meringue Westminster Abbey?

8:17pm: To match with the Coronation / Crown Jewels theme, Paul and Mary should be viewing bakers' meringues from a conveyor belt. *Tower of London reference*

8:22pm: Use Jane's head to sweep away those tricky cobwebs from the ceiling corner.

8:25pm: Jane looks like a tousled blonde Beatle.

8:28pm: Candice's inner-monologue when her Victoria sandwich was being judged: "I'll cut yer"

8:34pm: #GBBOfinal is a hairstyle masterclass, w/ Jane's 'Elton John caught in the rain', Mary's 'Thatcher', Paul's 'hard as granite" & Sue's quiff.

8:39pm: Those retro photos of Jane put me in the surprising position of seeing her present-day hair as an improvement.

8:42pm: "...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the cake you bake".

8:43pm: My money's on Candice.

8:47pm: I'm going to have Paul Hollywood saying "The taste of that sausage is fantastic" as my text tone.

8:49pm: The final will end with Paul, Mary, Mel and Sue singing 'Get Back' on the roof.

8:51pm: Who gets Paul and Mary's blue contact lenses when it's over?

8:51pm: Candice. Nailed it.

8:59pm: Congratulations Candice. Commiserations BBC.
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Not The Bayeux One.

The Carole King album Tapestry has been my 'getting-ready-in-the-morning' soundtrack for the past few weeks.  It's been a favourite album ever since I was a student, which makes for a pleasantly gentle way to usher in the start of a day. I've always been a fan of a well-crafted song, which is something of a Carole King hallmark, ever since she started writing with her first husband in the early Sixties. Tapestry may be an unimaginative choice for a favourite LP, as it suggests I haven't delved that far into her career, but it's still an undoubted classic; anything with '(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman', 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?' and 'You've Got A Friend' on it can't really fail; if nothing else, it proves she likes writing songs with long titles.  Next month, she's set to perform the album live in its entirety for the first time at a gig in Hyde Park, which I would have loved to have gone to, if it weren...
Read more

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

'Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream..."

While I’ve been practising meditation for quite some time now, I’ve recently taken to using the mindfulness app 'Headspace' . If you’ve never meditated before, or you’re an old hand at it, it’s a great resource, offering daily ten-minute guided meditations that create a sense of progress, rather than stagnating and going through the same process every day. Until I started using the app, I’d often listen to a handful of audio guided meditations I have on my phone in case of a brain emergency. If you see me with my eyes closed and my earphones in on public transport, I’m probably doing this (unless I’m sleeping and using this blog as an elaborate alibi). While the tracks on my phone are great, they can get a little repetitive as I become too familiar with them and start to anticipate everything the person on the recording will say. This is where Headspace is great, as it offers you a daily course with a different focus each day, as well as pl...
Read more