Skip to main content

GBBO 2016: Volume One (24.08.16)


It’s hard to believe that it’s Great British Bake Off season again, but it is.

It only seems like a couple of months ago that we were rooting for that one who made the cakes, and the other who was good at making pastry. Then there was the guy who…I don’t know…was on the Bake Off, do you remember? To be honest, outside of Nadiya and Tamal, it’s all a bit of a blur. Still, before long we will have learnt all of the 2016 series’ contestants and be choosing our favourites.

I’m known for tweeting along with the programme, and today's no exception. See below for what I posted while watching tonight’s show, after rushing back to my Edinburgh digs to catch the beginning. See you for next week’s instalment; same time, same place.
 

8:05pm: Val: "Retired grandmother?"

8:06pm: Mary's hair helmet resembles an early Thatcher barnet.

8:07pm: Was it just perspective, or did Michael have a massive pencil?

8:09pm: Quite tart? Likes the flavour of a Cox? So it begins...

8:10pm: Candice has the cackle of the Wicked Witch of the West.

8:11pm: "she's been making her drizzle cake since her children were little". That's a loooooong bake.

8:14pm: Paul Hollywood's piercing blue eyes can see through walls.

8:15pm: Everyone keeps talking about drizzle like it's a thing.

8:16pm: One of those sponges just resembled Zippy's head.

8:17pm: WHY IS ZIPPY'S HEAD ON THIS?

8:18pm: Put your drizzle shizzle on.

8:21pm: Jane is Una Stubb's long lost sister.

8:22pm: I'd like to see a Paul Hollywood and Selasi Stare-off.

8:25pm: I do like a laminated recipe.

8:27pm: Abandoned ship? abandoned sh*t.

8:29pm: If only someone had brought a packet of Jaffa cakes with them. Opportunity missed.

8:30pm: I like the Mount Rushmore-like baker shots.

8:34pm: Paul Hollywood: the Man in the Mirror-glaze.

8:35pm: Selasi didn't have that accent on day one.

8:37pm: Mary Berry Disapproving Gaze #1.

8:38pm: Thirty-eight minutes into episode one and Candice already irritates me beyond belief.

8:39pm: The green mirror glaze one is worthy of Percy in Blackadder II.

8:42pm: Val's on day release.

8:47pm: What needs is a pantomime slosh scene.

8:50pm: "What's that, Selasi? Somebody's stuck down a well?"

8:52pm: Every year, puts vibraphone, xylophone and glockenspiel players back in business.

8:57pm: Lee is Alexander Armstrong's dad.
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Not The Bayeux One.

The Carole King album Tapestry has been my 'getting-ready-in-the-morning' soundtrack for the past few weeks.  It's been a favourite album ever since I was a student, which makes for a pleasantly gentle way to usher in the start of a day. I've always been a fan of a well-crafted song, which is something of a Carole King hallmark, ever since she started writing with her first husband in the early Sixties. Tapestry may be an unimaginative choice for a favourite LP, as it suggests I haven't delved that far into her career, but it's still an undoubted classic; anything with '(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman', 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?' and 'You've Got A Friend' on it can't really fail; if nothing else, it proves she likes writing songs with long titles.  Next month, she's set to perform the album live in its entirety for the first time at a gig in Hyde Park, which I would have loved to have gone to, if it weren...
Read more

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

Hitchin is Mine.

As of six o’clock tonight, I take over the Hitchin is Yours Twitter account for a week; a stewardship I’m anxious to get right. I’m proud of my hometown. It’s a great place to live, with so much going for it. I've always sold it to my non-Hitchinite friends; so much so, that a lot have gone on to move here. Any town expansion plans are partly my fault. Feel free to picket outside my house. I love its history and architecture. Take St Mary’s Church, for example. The building is beautiful inside and out, and huge for a town of our size. There has been a place of worship on site since the 7 th Century. Much of the present building dates from the 1300s. You wouldn't get that in America. (Don't forget the British Schools Museum too.)  Hitchin is a hive for creative people and a hub for the arts. It boast two theatres, two comedy clubs, a couple of art galleries, a festival for world music and a thriving music scene. This drew...
Read more