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University Challenged 2016/17: Volume 3 (25.07.16)


While I know I probably shouldn’t stoop to this level, every week I find myself switching on University Challenge, and settling down for a spot of low-level Twitter bullying.

I know it’s not acceptable to be like this to any group of people, thought that said, it can be a lot of fun. It goes some small way to redress the balance between their high and my slightly lower intellect.

Here are today’s tweets. I promise I’m quite a nice chap in person, so don’t judge me.

Liverpool Vs. Warwick.
8:02pm: Kurek is channelling the character Harry Enfield used to do in the opening credits of Harry Enfield & Chums.

8:05pm: Van's follicles are so potent, his hair grows while you watch.

8:06pm: Van was created in a laboratory.

8:06pm: Kurek owns a sex dungeon.

8:10pm: Van modelled his look on Sully from Monsters Inc.

8:11pm: Paxman's still rocking that middle-aged woman's hairstyle look.

8:13pm: ...and so the deadly murderous double act of Kurek and Van was born.

8:14pm: Kurek and Van are the modern-day Keymaster and Gatekeeper.

8:16pm: Kurek is Niles Crane's secret evil twin.

8:18pm: After the recording, Kurek & Van lured the other contestants, crew & audience to their secret Industrial Area lock-up.

8:21pm: I'd like to see the equation calculating the likelihood of Van's hair and knitting pattern combination.

8:22pm: The dog in the final painting looked like Van.

8:23pm: I used to know a girl called Sarah Tonin.

8:23pm: Warwick's Van would like to lure you into his van.

8:25pm: Kurek comes to us, thanks to Gerry Anderson's Supermarionation.

8:27pm: Kurek's favourite 'Allo Allo!' character is Herr Flick.

8:27pm: Van gets wider while you wait.

8:29pm: After the recording, Kurek staved everyone's head in with that brick.
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