Trains, Trains and Automotrains.



I’ve discussed previously on this blog how I love overhearing conversations. Not in an illicit FBI-tapping-John-Lennon’s-phone-in-the-mid-70s type way, more when you catch a snippet of a confab out of context. Hearing an isolated nugget without explanation brings no end of entertainment, particularly when you’re as easily pleased as me. 

Getting the complete picture can be just as good. Two of my favourite examples took place on a train passing through Stevenage. I’ve presented them below in script form. Feel free to act them out with your friends. It’ll be cheaper than licensing something from Samuel French.

Exhibit A: Mother and Son. 

The boy, who is about nine, stares out of the window as the train pulls into the station. 

BOY:   Is this the place with the stones?
MUM:  What?
BOY:   Is this the place with the stones?
MUM:  What stones?
BOY:   The big stones. 

Pause. 

MUM: No. That’s Stonehenge.

Exhibit B:  Female Theatrical Advice. 

LADY: (To her friend) I saw terrifying play in the West End the other week, called The Black Woman.

Sometimes, people don’t think before they speak.

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