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Cast No Shadow


Going for castings at the moment feels a little bit like pissing into the wind.

The process of doing them I really enjoy. I feel most comfortable in front of a camera, doing something small, naturalistic and throwaway. Most of the stuff I go up for is quirky or comedic, which suits me. Yet I’m not getting any jobs. It’s beyond disheartening.

The frustrating thing is a lot of them seem to go well. I often make the casting director laugh, usually for the right reasons. I’ve been penciled for jobs so many times I can’t look a stationery shop in the face (which is good as they don’t tend to have them). It doesn’t make any difference. No pencilling turns to pen.

It’s hard to keep upbeat about it and not let it affect your performance. It's starting to feel like an endless unbreakable cycle. I’m bored of it. I just need one job to break the seal.

I keep reminding myself that I’ve got them in the past. I also keep getting close. It’s not like anything’s conspiring against me. I’ve just been unlucky of late. When I eventually get something, probably for some obscure brand of cleaning product, I’ll be unreasonably excited. It’s worrying what you end up aspiring to.
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