Skip to main content

Help the Aged.


As I walked home this afternoon, I passed a little girl and her dad heading the other way. When they were behind me, I heard the the girl say ‘That man's got a poppy’. It was then that I realised I’ve reached the stage of my life when I'm seen unquestionably as an adult.

When did that happen? It seems like only yesterday that I was just old enough to apply for my provisional driving licence. I’m now over twice that age. I’m hardly decrepit, I know, but it’s a sobering thought. I’m still not allowed behind the wheel without supervision though; one thing I've purposely kept in common with my sixteen-year-old self.

The frustrating thing about life is its linearity. Things only go one way. This is something it shares with the majority of roads in St. Albans. Equally annoying.

It like spotting crow’s feet starting to forming around your eyes or your subtly changing hairline; both of which I’ve done recently. You either embrace this, or approach mirrors with a similar attitude to a cross between Miss Havisham and Count Dracula. You could coat them in Vaseline, I suppose, but that would be costly and unappealing.

I'm not really worried by what the girl said. Children have a notoriously skewed view of age. I used to teach drama to a class of five to six year-olds. One day, one of them asked me how old I was.
‘I’m twenty seven,’ I said.
The little boy looked at me, eyes wide open with reverence. ‘That’s even older than my mum’.

Popular posts from this blog

Not The Bayeux One.

The Carole King album Tapestry has been my 'getting-ready-in-the-morning' soundtrack for the past few weeks.  It's been a favourite album ever since I was a student, which makes for a pleasantly gentle way to usher in the start of a day. I've always been a fan of a well-crafted song, which is something of a Carole King hallmark, ever since she started writing with her first husband in the early Sixties. Tapestry may be an unimaginative choice for a favourite LP, as it suggests I haven't delved that far into her career, but it's still an undoubted classic; anything with '(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman', 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?' and 'You've Got A Friend' on it can't really fail; if nothing else, it proves she likes writing songs with long titles.  Next month, she's set to perform the album live in its entirety for the first time at a gig in Hyde Park, which I would have loved to have gone to, if it weren...
Read more

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

Hitchin is Mine.

As of six o’clock tonight, I take over the Hitchin is Yours Twitter account for a week; a stewardship I’m anxious to get right. I’m proud of my hometown. It’s a great place to live, with so much going for it. I've always sold it to my non-Hitchinite friends; so much so, that a lot have gone on to move here. Any town expansion plans are partly my fault. Feel free to picket outside my house. I love its history and architecture. Take St Mary’s Church, for example. The building is beautiful inside and out, and huge for a town of our size. There has been a place of worship on site since the 7 th Century. Much of the present building dates from the 1300s. You wouldn't get that in America. (Don't forget the British Schools Museum too.)  Hitchin is a hive for creative people and a hub for the arts. It boast two theatres, two comedy clubs, a couple of art galleries, a festival for world music and a thriving music scene. This drew...
Read more