Woolmer Green's Best Barmaid.


I’d question whether a pub carvery in Woolmer Green is world famous.



The village isn't that well known. It’s very familiar to me, but then it's been a part of my life forever. My dad grew up there, with my grandparents living in the same house until they died. My dad still owns the house to this day. While Woolmer Green is of major significance to the Ephgrave family, it’s had little impact on the rest of the planet. 

(Earth's loss is our gain.)

There are three pubs in Woolmer Green. My nan worked them all. Public houses played a big part in her life; she met my grandfather in one on the Isle of Dogs, while she was a barmaid and he was a heavily-drinking contingent of the Navy.

Though she died when I was young, I still remember her vividly. We were very close. She once helped me make my own version of Rod Hull’s sidekick Emu, using a pair of old stockings for the head and the neck and a spangly green blouse for the body. It looked really good. She was a captive - and captivated - audience while I played with it.

I can remember us walking to the Post Office to buy an Advent Calendar, then finishing off the chocolates in one sitting as soon as we got back; she was both a bad and good influence.

While the Red Lion’s carvery may not be world famous, one of its past barmaids should be. 

When it came to nans, she was the best.

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