Skip to main content

Zoo-illogical


The song about Mummy taking us to the zoo tomorrow was grossly inaccurate; I went today, and my mum, bless her, was nowhere to be seen. 

I wasn't bitter about her absence. She’s taken me to the zoo before. The last time was in the late Eighties, with my dad and my junior school friend Mark Smith in tow. The highlight was when a squirrel leapt onto Mark's leg and wouldn't let go; it was very amusing. 

(I lost contact with Mark soon afterwards. For all I know, it may still be attached.)

The zoo I visited today was that there London one. You may have heard of it; it's quite famous. It even features in Bram Stoker's Dracula, don’t cha know.

(Who's called Bram? Also, why was he so possessive over his blood-sucking creation?) 
 
Inspired by today's trip, I thought I'd share some animal-based trivia. It’s been meticulously researched. Are we sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin:
 
  • The difference between a crocodile and an alligator is one of them is a crocodile.
  • The difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant is one of them lives in Africa.
  • The antelope doesn't exist.
  • Monkeys are just hairy people.
  • The emperor penguin isn't.
  • Zebras wear them for extra support.
  • A tigress doesn't digress.
  •  It would take just six leaf-cutter ants to safely lift the Cutty Sark; eight to move HMS Belfast.
  •  A camel's hump is 90% gammon.
That's enough trivia for now. Before I sign off, I thought I'd share something I discovered today to my cost: 

ZSL London is not a heavy-petting zoo.

 
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Not The Bayeux One.

The Carole King album Tapestry has been my 'getting-ready-in-the-morning' soundtrack for the past few weeks.  It's been a favourite album ever since I was a student, which makes for a pleasantly gentle way to usher in the start of a day. I've always been a fan of a well-crafted song, which is something of a Carole King hallmark, ever since she started writing with her first husband in the early Sixties. Tapestry may be an unimaginative choice for a favourite LP, as it suggests I haven't delved that far into her career, but it's still an undoubted classic; anything with '(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman', 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?' and 'You've Got A Friend' on it can't really fail; if nothing else, it proves she likes writing songs with long titles.  Next month, she's set to perform the album live in its entirety for the first time at a gig in Hyde Park, which I would have loved to have gone to, if it weren...
Read more

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

Hitchin is Mine.

As of six o’clock tonight, I take over the Hitchin is Yours Twitter account for a week; a stewardship I’m anxious to get right. I’m proud of my hometown. It’s a great place to live, with so much going for it. I've always sold it to my non-Hitchinite friends; so much so, that a lot have gone on to move here. Any town expansion plans are partly my fault. Feel free to picket outside my house. I love its history and architecture. Take St Mary’s Church, for example. The building is beautiful inside and out, and huge for a town of our size. There has been a place of worship on site since the 7 th Century. Much of the present building dates from the 1300s. You wouldn't get that in America. (Don't forget the British Schools Museum too.)  Hitchin is a hive for creative people and a hub for the arts. It boast two theatres, two comedy clubs, a couple of art galleries, a festival for world music and a thriving music scene. This drew...
Read more