Once a songwriter...

If there's one thing that frustrates me most about myself, it's the fact that I used to be a songwriter - but somewhere down the line, I seem to have lost the knack to finish anything.

If you’d asked me to define myself a decade ago that's almost certainly what I would have said. I’d been in a band since junior school, and had always written my own material. It was my main creative outlet – and as time went on, I gradually got better at it.

I went to drama school - but to be honest, that was just a way of biding my time while I waited for my band to take off. I had only ever set out to be a singer / songwriter, and anything else I ended up doing would always have been second best.

I didn’t really find my stride as a writer until around 1999 (when everyone else was just too busy partying Prince-style). My band Big Day Out had been going since secondary school as a four-piece – but all of a sudden, the other major creative force behind the band up and left. For quite some time I had felt his writing inferior. Suddenly I had a new lease of life – and songs started to tumble from me with relative ease.

I started wearing a pair of protective pants to catch them and save embarrassment.

I think the main difference between then and now was that being in a band gave me a definite format to write for. Big Day Out were a regularly gigging three-piece, so songs could be quickly knocked off, rehearsed and then performed in front of an audience in next-to-no time. I also lived with the band’s other main writer, so we’d spend much of our spare time working on songs together.

I was also younger then – and with youth came confidence. No-one could tell me that I couldn’t do it.

Back then I was very driven. I’ve watched back old video footage of Big Day Out more recently and been embarrassed by how I sometimes talked to the rest of the band. I had a definite sense of what I felt was musically right – arrogance really – and didn’t mince my words.

Now I just think I’m shit.

(I exaggerate a little for comic effect).

When you write alone it’s much harder to motivate yourself. I’ve always worked best with a collaborator; even if you end up writing the vast majority of something by yourself, you still have a sounding board; someone who’s opinion you trust, and can see past an incomplete idea to what it will be like when finished.

I also think it's best to not leave an idea lying around for too long; it's the same with comedy: it's much better to work something through to the end when you're still inspired by it than to leave it festering.

My band eventually fizzled out when I left drama school and took a couple of tours that made me less available. It was a shame; towards the end we’d supported a couple of then-big acts and secured a little record company interest. It would have been nice to have seen it through.

A few years back I started working on a solo CD called 'Mostly David Ephgrave'. Initial recording went well – but sadly, a combination of the producer moving away and my constant touring meant that we never got around to finishing it.

I then became distracted by both my comedy and actor / muso work, and started giving my original music less attention.

Gradually though, I’ve started to get my songwriting mojo back. I recently began sifting through the little rough demos I've recorded on my phone over the intervening years - and realised that a few of them might be worth finishing up.

One of these days I'll put together a little band or book some solo gigs again. You just bloody wait.

Actually, it's probably best not to wait.

quick time from david ephgrave on Myspace.