Clarkson's Bookface.


Thanks to literally minutes of research I have come to the conclusion that Jeremy Clarkson is asked to sum up each of his books in just one facial expression at the cover shoot.

It’s really quite a skill, when you think about it. Take his 2009 book, 'Driven to Distraction': 


466 pages, which – working on the assumption that a typical hardback averages at around 350 words per page – would total 163100 words. 163100 words, neatly summed up with an expression I would best describe as ‘resigned acceptance’.

(Showing my workings.)

Then there’s his 2012 tome, 'Round the Bend': 

432 pages (an average of 151200 words, give or take) - all summed up with a look of mild distress. Perhaps the punning title was causing Jeremy to lose sleep;  judging from the Daily Telegraph quote, he had very little to worry about.

A year later, and his anxiousness has been replaced with a look of serenity. 


I guess this should come as no surprise: he’d reached volume five of his 'The World According to Clarkson' series, and was no doubt enjoying a sense of creative plateau. I bet the photo shoot took a matter of minutes: his cheekily asymmetrical shirt-cuff certainly suggests that he didn’t hang about.

Spin back seven years to ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ and Clarkson’s demeanour is that of a man who’s relaxed and at one with himself. 


Here’s a chap who’s found his stride – and while his body language suggests a direct lift from Eastenders' Mike Reid, the outfit shows a disregard for smartness: remove the jacket and you're left with a person who just hasn’t made an effort.

By the time you reach 2012’s ("I got paid most for") 'The Top Gear Years', Jeremy's high standards have returned: 


Okay, he may not have felt the need to leave the photographic studio to pose in the actual presence of the car in the background - but what's a little superimposition between friends?

Here's a man who never had to face the chore of presenting Total Wipeout.

In summary, it seems that the dust jackets of Clarkson's oeuvre express the full length and breadth of human emotion. Perhaps one day I'll be tempted to delve a little further: if the inner content is half as rewarding, I'm in for a treat.

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