Strictly Come Tweeting (29.09.18)

So, we reach week two of Strictly and the voting starts in earnest.

There were a lot of dances to get through tonight what with it being so early in the series; so much so, I reached a point about two-thirds in where I couldn’t for the life of me work out which celebrities we hadn’t seen yet. Despite being a long evening I still enjoyed myself, although this enjoyment was sullied by some of Craig and Bruno’s bitchy feedback to Susannah in particular.

While I know Craig tends to work in sound bites and will usually give his negative comments first closely followed by the positive, when he only has time to say one thing, I don’t know why he’d go for something completely soul-destroying and unconstructive and often confidence shattering. Both he and Bruno are choreographers and the dance world can be an acid-tongued business, but surely with all their experience they’d know a scathing comment goes a long way toward making a non-dancer want to give up; I know I would.

As ever, I tweeted along to tonight’s show; here's what was said:

6:33PM: They're all going home this week; they don't live-in.

6:35PM: One day the judges will choreograph their entrance.

6:38PM: Kevin's rehearsal hair's back.

6:45PM: Making them run up a staircase after dancing adds insult to injury.

6:47PM: He just referred to himself in third-person. Unsurprising.

6:50PM: I feel sorry for the person who has to empty the spit-valve.

6:59PM: Gorka's come as Aladdin.

7:02PM: "Craig's critique's as mindful of the stage of the competition as ever", he said sarcastically.

7:03PM: Oti Mabuse's name is best said to the tune of Radio Ga Gs.

7:04PM: Hands up who's thinking of The Commitments.

7:12PM: As ever, the lighting design's excellent.

7:15PM: Kate's addicted to dancing. I'm addicted to lemsip and other paracetamol-based drinks

7:17PM: Apprentice roof-thatcher; not a dying industry at all.

7:19PM: One thing i can state as fact; @glyndoggett will have bought the single Cotton Eye Joe. No doubt about it.

7:26PM: A little Gershwin. Love it.

7:28PM: Constructive criticism from Craig once again; he should become a mentor.

7:30PM: Some people aren't natural dancers, but they're improvement still deserves acknowledgment.

7:32PM: A note on feedback, Craig and Bruno; when you can tell someone's being hurt by what you're saying, reel it in.

7:36PM: Nice of Lee to put on his favourite tracksuit bottoms for us.

7:44PM: Danny John-Jules looks good just standing.

7:51PM: I sang 'Somewhere' at my drama school audition. A few years later, I snuck into the office to read my notes: "Nice voice, zero stage presence".

8:00PM: His performance was fab, but I'm still trying to understand Dr Ranj's outfit.

8:12PM: Every so often, I remember they film #Strictly in the same room that was once The Overlook Hotel. https://twitter.com/David_Ephgrave/status/1046115620071378945

8:19PM: Bruno's having flashbacks. https://twitter.com/David_Ephgrave/status/1046117385240018947

8:28PM: There goes my labyrinthitis.

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...

'...I'm Gonna Look at You 'til My Eyes Go Blind."

Over the past week or two, I’ve been on a bit of a Sheryl Crow kick, largely thanks to rediscovering her cover of one of my most-liked Bob Dylan songs. She has one of my favourite female voices, yet despite this, I only own one CD and that’s just a single (her '97 release ‘Hard to Make a Stand’); on that basis, you can only imagine how much of her back catalogue I’d own if I hated her (it would fall into minus-figures). Dylan, conversely, takes up more of my collection than anyone else, save The Beatles and Paul McCartney’s solo work. He’s one of those artists who, when you get him, you really get him - and once I’d tuned into his style as a student, I'd time and again be blown away by his lyrics; he’ll have more jaw-dropping imagery in one track than other people fit in a whole career. These days, I mostly listen to music in the morning when getting ready, and more often than not, this will consist of a suggested YouTube playlist when I’m in the bath, r...

"Speaking Words of Wisdom, Let it Shine."

Tonight saw the second instalment of BBC1’s latest advertise-a-musical-for-months-and-then-cast-it-with-performers-too-inexperienced-to-do-it-a-thon ‘Let it S̶h̶i̶t̶e̶ Shine’ (or as I call it: ‘REAL AUDITIONS ARE NOTHING LIKE THIS’). I didn’t watch it (clearly), but being reminded of how angry seeing just five minutes of it made me last week caused me to mull over what I would call a musical based on the band’s songbook, if I was responsible for it. Here are a my suggestions: IDEAS FOR TITLE OF A TAKE THAT MUSICAL: Barlow! Dirty Fat-Dancing Orange! A Million Love-changes-everything Songs Owen! Howard's End Pray Misérables Mamma Marka! Babe (with a pig as the lead) …BUT MY FAVOURITE HAS TO BE: Jason & His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. "It was Orange, Orange, Orange, Orange..." (TAKE) THAT’S ENOUGH OF (TAKE) THAT.

mostly david ephgrave

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