Skip to main content

Strictly Come Tweeting: Week Twelve (10.12.16)


It’s hard to believe we’re teetering toward the end of the current series of Strictly Come Dancing.

Before we know it, it’ll all be over, and the show will decamp to Channel Four for a reboot hosted by Paul Hollywood, sans Mary, Mel and Sue. I, for one, don’t relish this, as the BBC is Strictly’s natural environment, even when hosted by the less-than-natural Tess Daly; I think she's made of polyester.

(I may be a little confused.)

See below for my twitter running commentary for tonight. It’s a laugh-a-minute, or your money back.

6:55pm: Ah, the awkwardness of the judges-dancing-on bit.

7:00pm: There's a conveyor belt on stage; where's Brucie?

7:01pm: (I'd like to point out, I got the Brucie 'conveyor belt' joke in seconds before Len).

7:02pm: Hallo...the Craig Revel Horwood Panto Beard is in progress.

7:03pm: Why they haven't had Louise dance to her Top 4 single 'Arms Around the World', I'll never know (yes, that's right: I remember it).

7:04pm: ...or Naked. They could have had Louise dancing to Naked.

7:06pm: Danny Mac's face and hair looks identical in every training video and dance, which is really quite a talent.

7:07pm: Oti's legs stretch from Land's End to John O'Groats. FACT.

7:09pm: The 'high-waisted slacks with braces, a sparkly vest and an open shirt look' is vastly underrated.

7:12pm: Danny's come as a camp Bobby Ball.

7:13pm: You can always tell when Bruno's got a ten brewing.

7:15pm: Gusset action.

7:19pm: Claudia and AJ's Rhumba / Rumba / Rum baba is my favourite routine of the evening so far.

7:20pm: Len says Claudia is dressed as his favourite Quality Street; he better not say anything about unwrapping it.

7:22pm: AJ's hair tonight is reminiscent of Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic.

7:23pm: Swap Joanne with Ore's wife Portia and no-one would notice.

7:25pm: Joanne's hair's a bit Mad Max.

7:26pm: Joanne very nearly gave Ore a Glasgow Kiss then.

7:29pm: Craig's beard grows while-u-wait.

7:35pm: Something clicks when I do an Argentine Tango too. In my back.

7:37pm: Looking at the graphics on the floor during Louise and Kevin's samba is giving me an acid flashback.

7:45pm: Danny really is very, very good, isn't he?

7:48pm: Out come four ten paddles, me'thinks.

7:52pm: My wife just pointed out that Claudia and AJ are doing their quickstep on the wall from Blockbusters.

8:02pm: Darcey, to Ore: "You don't take your eyes off your partner".

...that's because she looks like his wife.
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...
Read more

"Speaking Words of Wisdom, Let it Shine."

Tonight saw the second instalment of BBC1’s latest advertise-a-musical-for-months-and-then-cast-it-with-performers-too-inexperienced-to-do-it-a-thon ‘Let it S̶h̶i̶t̶e̶ Shine’ (or as I call it: ‘REAL AUDITIONS ARE NOTHING LIKE THIS’). I didn’t watch it (clearly), but being reminded of how angry seeing just five minutes of it made me last week caused me to mull over what I would call a musical based on the band’s songbook, if I was responsible for it. Here are a my suggestions: IDEAS FOR TITLE OF A TAKE THAT MUSICAL: Barlow! Dirty Fat-Dancing Orange! A Million Love-changes-everything Songs Owen! Howard's End Pray Misérables Mamma Marka! Babe (with a pig as the lead) …BUT MY FAVOURITE HAS TO BE: Jason & His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. "It was Orange, Orange, Orange, Orange..." (TAKE) THAT’S ENOUGH OF (TAKE) THAT.
Read more

'...I'm Gonna Look at You 'til My Eyes Go Blind."

Over the past week or two, I’ve been on a bit of a Sheryl Crow kick, largely thanks to rediscovering her cover of one of my most-liked Bob Dylan songs. She has one of my favourite female voices, yet despite this, I only own one CD and that’s just a single (her '97 release ‘Hard to Make a Stand’); on that basis, you can only imagine how much of her back catalogue I’d own if I hated her (it would fall into minus-figures). Dylan, conversely, takes up more of my collection than anyone else, save The Beatles and Paul McCartney’s solo work. He’s one of those artists who, when you get him, you really get him - and once I’d tuned into his style as a student, I'd time and again be blown away by his lyrics; he’ll have more jaw-dropping imagery in one track than other people fit in a whole career. These days, I mostly listen to music in the morning when getting ready, and more often than not, this will consist of a suggested YouTube playlist when I’m in the bath, r...
Read more