Skip to main content

Strictly Come Tweeting: Week Thirteen (17.12.16)


I find it worrying, looking back on my Twitter feed, that I managed to post a tweet for nearly every minute of tonight’s final of Strictly Come Dancing.

I was in the strange position this year (as I mentioned at 8:17pm) of liking all the celebrities left in the competition and consequently, not really minding who won, as long as Jay from The Wanted didn’t find a way of sneaking into the studio unnoticed to become eligible to participate for a time; I really didn’t like that man.

Unsurprisingly, they all put in great performances, so it could have gone any way. I expected Danny Mac to win, as he was the most consistent and perhaps the best dancer technically, but also had a soft spot for Louise (and an even softer spot for her partner Kevin from Grimsby). When Tess Daly announced Ore was the champion, I was surprised but not disappointed (as I said at 8:50pm), as he’s a great performer, and someone I’d warmed to, despite finding him irritating on BBC Breakfast; I’m a judgemental chap when it comes down to it.

See below for the many, many tweets I posted tonight; brace yourself...

6:40pm: ...such a shit trophy though.

6:41pm: My money's on Will.

6:42pm: You'd never be able to fit the trophy on your mantelpiece though.

6:43pm: It's all gone a bit ITV.

6:45pm: Idea for beginning of this week's #Strictly: how about we lower the finalists into the studio on massive glittery rings? Can we cost this up?

6:46pm: I had four months of blood once. I don't want to talk about it.

6:48pm: The glitterball trophy was made in the Blue Peter studio.

6:50pm: Idea for a gameshow: Which one's Joanne and which one's Ore's wife?

6:53pm: Ore and Joanne's Singin' in the Rain routine was perhaps my favourite dance of the series, if you're interested.

6:54pm: I'm using the bit where the judges are talking to fill up the tumble dryer, so you know.

6:59pm: "The judges chose Louise's cha-cha" sounds filthy.

7:01pm: 'What a Feeling'; drowning in a sea of Eighties.

7:04pm: Anne Boleyn was well-executed too. (Too soon?).

7:06pm: Ed Balls. Back on the telly. YES.

7:09pm: There's something pleasing about seeing someone with a cockney accent like Len's sitting on a throne.

7:12pm: Let's not forget that the studio #Strictly is filmed in was also the interior of the Overlook Hotel in The Shining.

7:15pm: "Will the judges please move their cars from the car park" ; an unused Alan Dedicoat v/o.

7:18pm: Claudia Winkleman always looks like she's sucking a sour sweet.

7:20pm: Love a bit of Gershwin.

7:21pm: The different-sized drum podiums are making me think of the graphics from Going for Gold.

7:30pm: Surely every moment is one moment in time.

7:33pm: The main reason I could never go on #Strictly is I don't have the strength to lift another human being.

7:36pm: Danny Mac's baseball cap: *shakes fist at the air*.

7:39pm: Please, please, please. Don't try to jump through a mirror at home.

7:41pm: "Come on, Tim."

7:53pm: Ore to Joanne: "Ooooh...she's nicer than my wife." 


7:55pm: Ore's wife had to miss her SATS exams to be in the studio today (this tweet would work if it wasn't the weekend).

7:58pm: "You and I...are going to wrap our lovin' arms all around the world..."


8:02pm: "Don't cry for me Argentinetango".

8:07pm: If anyone else says "smash it", I'll smash my bloody head in.

8:09pm: I suspect Danny Mac wears his samba outfit when he's lounging around the house.

8:12pm: I'm a little bit in love with Oti. She seems like she's a lot of fun and she's bloody good.

8:14pm: 10.10.10. Danny and Oti's final score was binary.

8:15pm: "Please don't vote if you're watching on remand."

8:17pm: I like all of this year's #Strictly finalists; what the hell's going on?

8:21pm: "I won't dance. Don't ask me". Me, at every wedding.

8:28pm: Len's finishing #Strictly to go to C4 for next year's Bake Off.

8:29pm: Len. Bless 'im.

8:35pm: Ed Balls.

8:40pm: Naga Munchetty never did that lift with Charlie Stayt.

8:42pm: .@glyndoggett will like the final dance, if only for the Spice Girls / S Club 7 songs. Christ.

8:48pm: Bruno looks like he's wearing his jacket inside out in the talking heads bit.

8:50pm: Kind of surprised, but not at all disappointed, for Singin' in the Rain if nothing else.

Popular posts from this blog

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...

"Speaking Words of Wisdom, Let it Shine."

Tonight saw the second instalment of BBC1’s latest advertise-a-musical-for-months-and-then-cast-it-with-performers-too-inexperienced-to-do-it-a-thon ‘Let it S̶h̶i̶t̶e̶ Shine’ (or as I call it: ‘REAL AUDITIONS ARE NOTHING LIKE THIS’). I didn’t watch it (clearly), but being reminded of how angry seeing just five minutes of it made me last week caused me to mull over what I would call a musical based on the band’s songbook, if I was responsible for it. Here are a my suggestions: IDEAS FOR TITLE OF A TAKE THAT MUSICAL: Barlow! Dirty Fat-Dancing Orange! A Million Love-changes-everything Songs Owen! Howard's End Pray Misérables Mamma Marka! Babe (with a pig as the lead) …BUT MY FAVOURITE HAS TO BE: Jason & His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. "It was Orange, Orange, Orange, Orange..." (TAKE) THAT’S ENOUGH OF (TAKE) THAT.

'...I'm Gonna Look at You 'til My Eyes Go Blind."

Over the past week or two, I’ve been on a bit of a Sheryl Crow kick, largely thanks to rediscovering her cover of one of my most-liked Bob Dylan songs. She has one of my favourite female voices, yet despite this, I only own one CD and that’s just a single (her '97 release ‘Hard to Make a Stand’); on that basis, you can only imagine how much of her back catalogue I’d own if I hated her (it would fall into minus-figures). Dylan, conversely, takes up more of my collection than anyone else, save The Beatles and Paul McCartney’s solo work. He’s one of those artists who, when you get him, you really get him - and once I’d tuned into his style as a student, I'd time and again be blown away by his lyrics; he’ll have more jaw-dropping imagery in one track than other people fit in a whole career. These days, I mostly listen to music in the morning when getting ready, and more often than not, this will consist of a suggested YouTube playlist when I’m in the bath, r...