This morning,
when walking through Hitchin Cemetery, I spotted an epitaph which
read, ‘In the midst of life, we are in death’.
Though a
graveyard isn’t the place for levity, that sounded too depressing. Wouldn’t it
be more positive if the ‘death’ and ‘life’ were switched?
I’ve since looked it up and discovered it’s based on a Latin phrase, that often crops
up in hymns or sermons; you learn something new every day. Seeing it engraved
on a moss-covered stone led me to think what would be appropriate for
me.
My all-time
favourite belongs to Spike Milligan, whose gravestone states ‘I told you I was
ill’.
(I'll just let that sink in.)
It never fails to raise a smile. It’s as if his
entire life was the set-up for the most glorious of punchlines. What could
be a more fitting tribute to a man who so many laugh for so long?
Unfortunately, a
compromise was made; to please the local diocese, it had to be inscribed in
Gaelic. That's a bit of a shame. I think it should
be in keeping with the person; if you’re true to yourself for all of your life,
why shouldn’t you be the same in death?
I’ve always found
those old-fashioned stones darkly amusing; the ones inscribed along the lines
of ‘For Sarah, the loving wife of Thomas Smith’. To not get full billing on your
own grave must be a little disappointing.
What if your partner dies first? You'd end up like a macabre support act.
(Sorry: that's a little bit dark. Also, trust me to think like a performer.)
I like the idea
of having something gently funny, though I doubt I’ll ever be able to better a
Goon. Perhaps something sinister, like ‘I’M WATCHING YOU’; or optimistic, like
‘BACK IN FIVE MINUTES’.
(That would only
apply if your name was Jesus.)
Maybe I’ll just opt
for ‘TWAT’. It wouldn’t cost much, if they charge per letter.