I've Got The Music In Me.

I'm grateful for the little light that came on today, metaphorically speaking*, while playing a few old songs on my acoustic.

It was like a gap in my DNA was filled** to complete me. I felt comfortable despite being out of practice, and for once, I didn't question what I was doing; it just felt right. I had a brief moment of clarity that wasn't undercut by my mood or sense of self-worth. If I can tap into this, it might give me the impetus to start something new.

It probably helps that I've been revisiting the songs from my 2018 standup show, 'David Ephgrave: My Part in His Downfall', by posting video clips of them on social media as a placeholder until I start my next project (whatever that is). In truth, it's hard to know where to begin with that. The combination of Mostly Comedy's closure after so much difficulty and my long, drawn-out route back to the Fringe has left me burnt out emotionally, creatively and financially, and I need a chance to regroup. Whatever I do next needs to be different for my sanity's sake and has to at least be accompanied by a thing that brings in money, God forbid.

So I find myself trying to reengage my acting career while putting down my self-generated work for a bit. That's not to say I can't dabble with songwriting again, though, to see where it leads me. Maybe I'll do the odd acoustic gig or even some recording. To quote an unfinished song from many moons ago: 

"It would be nice if we could start all over.
It would be nice, you know.
To have a second go."

I probably won't bother finishing that one, but there are a few little sketches that I'm proud of. Again, God forbid. 

*I'm not electrokinetic.
**Another metaphor.

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