Not In(another)continent.

The last few days have been a strange mix of being pencilled for a job shooting* in South Africa at the end of January, trying to speed through a passport application in time to get a visa to do it and feeling rough enough to have a COVID-19 test too.

Thankfully, I received the good news that I haven't got the virus this morning, which was a relief. The trip to Africa's southernmost point, however, fell through on Friday. And while the job would have been a great way to start the new year (particularly when work's so scarce), I must admit I'm a bit relieved; now's not exactly the time to explore far-off lands, even if I'd hoped to kickstart a collaboration with Ladysmith Black Mambazo.

The passport situation was stressful. My old one expired on the 31st December and I'd only just applied for a replacement a few days earlier when the request for a self-tape for the job came through. As soon as my agent told me about the pencil, I was on the case trying to fast-track the passport with the casting directors understandably anxious about it. The worry probably contributed to my general sense of feeling under-the-weather, which in turn made me concerned I wouldn't be fit time to fly to the Land of the Recent COVID Mutation (a case of "frying pan" and "fire" right there).

Now the job's gone, I can't help but be frustrated. I know I should focus on the positive, but I've had so many pencils now, you could call me Mr Graphite. And I'm sick of the emotional rollercoaster that goes with it. Still, that's the joy of being an actor; that and no concept of future retirement.

*As in "filming", not "poaching".

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...

'...I'm Gonna Look at You 'til My Eyes Go Blind."

Over the past week or two, I’ve been on a bit of a Sheryl Crow kick, largely thanks to rediscovering her cover of one of my most-liked Bob Dylan songs. She has one of my favourite female voices, yet despite this, I only own one CD and that’s just a single (her '97 release ‘Hard to Make a Stand’); on that basis, you can only imagine how much of her back catalogue I’d own if I hated her (it would fall into minus-figures). Dylan, conversely, takes up more of my collection than anyone else, save The Beatles and Paul McCartney’s solo work. He’s one of those artists who, when you get him, you really get him - and once I’d tuned into his style as a student, I'd time and again be blown away by his lyrics; he’ll have more jaw-dropping imagery in one track than other people fit in a whole career. These days, I mostly listen to music in the morning when getting ready, and more often than not, this will consist of a suggested YouTube playlist when I’m in the bath, r...

Stevenage: A (Tiny) River Runs Through it.

If ever a river was mis-sold, it’s the Roaring Meg in Stevenage. I just walked past it on my way to the retail park that has taken its name. They’re similarly uninspiring. The river is less of a roar and more of a dribble; cystitis sufferers produce greater flow. The retail park is soulless. What was once a thriving enterprise is nearly devoid of atmosphere, save an underlying essence of emptiness and despair. With a Toys R Us. When it was first built I was excited. Back then, the thought of a bowling alley, an ice rink, a Harvester and a Blockbuster Video within a small surface area was enticing. I celebrated many birthdays on site. There was an indoor cricket pitch there for a while where I once had a joint party with a friend. Why someone with an almost pathological fear of sport would agree to such a venture is beyond me, but I did it. Now, there’s very little at the Roaring Meg of note. The river would be a metaphor for the shopping ce...

mostly david ephgrave

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