After a lifetime of narcissistic abuse that only intensified since my dad's death last May - and after a year of trying to preserve our relationship without letting her pathological lies pass unchecked - I've reluctantly ended contact with my mother.
When someone's mistreatment of you and lack of accountability makes you consider ending your life to escape it more than once, both as a child and as an adult, and telling them doesn't make them change their behaviour, self-preservation dictates to walk away. And when they twist reality so frequently that you start recording your calls to maintain your sanity, you're in an imbalanced relationship. How can you continue association with a person who thinks saying a lie out loud makes it real?
In time I'll be open about my story, but for now, I want to be clear she doesn't represent me. And I have the support and testimony of my dad's family, his ex-girlfriend & family, the teacher I first opened up to about my emotionally abusive childhood twenty-one years ago and my mental health team to back me up. I also have the support of my oldest childhood friend and his parents, my ex-girlfriends who witnessed a lot of her behaviour first-hand, plus my wife and my adult friends who saw it too. I turned to them all when my mum's response to my reminding her of my abusive upbringing over the phone was, "Prove it" (by which point, I was already recording our conversations to protect myself). It's been a terrible year, but I intend to draw a line under it and start anew. I know in my heart that I tried my best.