Skip to main content

Trump's Wall (and the Key of Evil).

One thing we learnt from Donald Trump's announcement that he was declaring a National Emergency to fund his fear-mongering wall: his favourite note is Bb.


He hits the note eight times in the video clip accompanying the article above on the BBC News website (from 44 seconds onwards), and then another five times in the speech that immediately follows it, which the BBC sadly edited out; his keenness to aim for that particular black note makes a firm case for Bb to become the official Key of Evil; that or the Key of Total Ignorance.

Perhaps the thing that bugs me most about this puffy-faced giant satsuma of a man is the way he seems content to start every sentence with absolutely no idea where it's headed, preferring to just freestyle it and hope for the best. It's like he's unable to retain any information in that foolishly coiffed bonce of his, yet he doesn't see this as a setback; after all, the fewer statistics he can hold onto up there, the less he has to offer any support to his nonsense claims.

Put simply, it's a crime to be dipping so willfully into money put by for genuine humanitarian crises for such a childish, xenophobic cause from the King of Requiring No Evidence; who cares that migration experts refute his claims of a migration crisis on the Southern border? In Trump's vacuous, ignorant belljar of a head, belief's the only thing he needs to call something to be; when you're not tied to the need for strong evidence, anything's fair game. Personally, I'm going to petition my MP to remove Bb from the scale.

Popular posts from this blog

Not The Bayeux One.

The Carole King album Tapestry has been my 'getting-ready-in-the-morning' soundtrack for the past few weeks.  It's been a favourite album ever since I was a student, which makes for a pleasantly gentle way to usher in the start of a day. I've always been a fan of a well-crafted song, which is something of a Carole King hallmark, ever since she started writing with her first husband in the early Sixties. Tapestry may be an unimaginative choice for a favourite LP, as it suggests I haven't delved that far into her career, but it's still an undoubted classic; anything with '(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman', 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?' and 'You've Got A Friend' on it can't really fail; if nothing else, it proves she likes writing songs with long titles.  Next month, she's set to perform the album live in its entirety for the first time at a gig in Hyde Park, which I would have loved to have gone to, if it weren...

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...

Hitchin is Mine.

As of six o’clock tonight, I take over the Hitchin is Yours Twitter account for a week; a stewardship I’m anxious to get right. I’m proud of my hometown. It’s a great place to live, with so much going for it. I've always sold it to my non-Hitchinite friends; so much so, that a lot have gone on to move here. Any town expansion plans are partly my fault. Feel free to picket outside my house. I love its history and architecture. Take St Mary’s Church, for example. The building is beautiful inside and out, and huge for a town of our size. There has been a place of worship on site since the 7 th Century. Much of the present building dates from the 1300s. You wouldn't get that in America. (Don't forget the British Schools Museum too.)  Hitchin is a hive for creative people and a hub for the arts. It boast two theatres, two comedy clubs, a couple of art galleries, a festival for world music and a thriving music scene. This drew...