This week, for the
first time in a few years, I got my acoustic out and played through some of the
songs I wrote, and it felt like a light went on in my head.
Admittedly it was a little painful on the fingertips - which is embarrassing for someone who has spent the vast proportion of his working life playing the guitar for money, though to be fair, this could be partly due to how long it's been since I changed my strings, but though I was a little ropey and out-of-shape it still made sense to me, and felt like I’d neglected a massive part of myself by leaving it so long.
I guess it has a lot to do with absence making the heart grow fonder, as I had grown tired of the whole actor / musician thing for taking up the majority of my time while stifling my creativity…but it wasn’t just that. There was a sense of comparative simplicity compared to the frustration I’ve been feeling with my show as I remembered how music comes relatively easily to me and is more instinctive, and that I know what my voice is...though I may just be seeing it through rose-tinted spectacles (to use a shit image).
For years I’ve been embarrassed by how my songwriting had seemingly dried up, but strangely, the further I step away from this the less it seems to matter, or to even be a thing; today, I was grudgingly reminded that some of the songs I came up with I’m actually quite proud of, and that it doesn’t matter how long ago I wrote them, they’re still mine, and that by reclaiming them, I may be able to think about playing them live again and maybe even adding to my roster.
I’m not sure if I'll do it, but I’m considering whether my show’s "bringing about my own downfall” theme might open the door to including some songs relevant to my life in it to help strengthen my point. It might not work - I’ve certainly got no interest in actually writing comedy songs - but if I can find a way of using them without making the show too serious, it’s worth considering…though the downside to whole thing will be working out how to get my guitar to Edinburgh too, when I already have so much luggage to carry. Still, it’s something to ponder...
Admittedly it was a little painful on the fingertips - which is embarrassing for someone who has spent the vast proportion of his working life playing the guitar for money, though to be fair, this could be partly due to how long it's been since I changed my strings, but though I was a little ropey and out-of-shape it still made sense to me, and felt like I’d neglected a massive part of myself by leaving it so long.
I guess it has a lot to do with absence making the heart grow fonder, as I had grown tired of the whole actor / musician thing for taking up the majority of my time while stifling my creativity…but it wasn’t just that. There was a sense of comparative simplicity compared to the frustration I’ve been feeling with my show as I remembered how music comes relatively easily to me and is more instinctive, and that I know what my voice is...though I may just be seeing it through rose-tinted spectacles (to use a shit image).
For years I’ve been embarrassed by how my songwriting had seemingly dried up, but strangely, the further I step away from this the less it seems to matter, or to even be a thing; today, I was grudgingly reminded that some of the songs I came up with I’m actually quite proud of, and that it doesn’t matter how long ago I wrote them, they’re still mine, and that by reclaiming them, I may be able to think about playing them live again and maybe even adding to my roster.
I’m not sure if I'll do it, but I’m considering whether my show’s "bringing about my own downfall” theme might open the door to including some songs relevant to my life in it to help strengthen my point. It might not work - I’ve certainly got no interest in actually writing comedy songs - but if I can find a way of using them without making the show too serious, it’s worth considering…though the downside to whole thing will be working out how to get my guitar to Edinburgh too, when I already have so much luggage to carry. Still, it’s something to ponder...