'University Challenged: Week Seventeen' (13.11.17)

Tonight it dawned on me that we’ve now seen all the candidates for this series of University Challenge, so there’s now no chance of any other amusing characters coming along to spice things up.

We now know there’ll be no contender to rival Monkman, or even Bobby Seagull; no-one’s going to steal their throne. In one sense this is annoying and in another, it’s a relief. In a way, I don’t want them ever to be bettered as those are some big shoes to fill; but at the very least it would nice to have someone even gently amusing as, without this, it can get a little tedious.

(I clearly watch the show for the wrong reasons).

See below for my twitter commentary (as exciting as it is).

Strathclyde Vs. Emmanuel Cambridge

8:02PM: Jeremy Paxman is weary with YOU.

8:04PM: Brown had planned that wave for weeks. His worry about this was all-encompassing: would it be a mistake? Should he do it? Shouldn't he? He shouldn't have done it.

8:05PM: Emmanuel's mascot is a knitted penis in a hat

8:06PM: Derby's hair's as big as Derby.

8:07PM: It's a lot less fun writing bitchy #UniversityChallenge tweets with a 280-character limit.

8:10PM: In the bar after the recording, Paxman offered to settle Chevallier's student debt.

8:13PM: Strathclyde's Brown has the dubious honour of being dubbed tonight's murderer.

8:16PM: File Derby's hair in the dictionary under 'bouffant'.

8:19PM: The scene at Paxman's wedding: Registrar: "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Paxman: "NO".

:21PM: Is Dijkman actually there, or am I hallucinating again?

8:25PM: Paxman seems to think it doesn't matter how rude or disdainful he is while presenting #UniversityChallenge as long as he does that winning little smile at the end.

8:26PM: Paxman has the presenting style of a man who knows the meter's still running.

8:29PM: Logan would have felt a lot more relaxed if he'd undone his top button.

Shakerpuppetmaker.

Have Parker from Thunderbirds and Noel Gallagher ever been seen in the same room? The resemblance is uncanny. So much so, I think something’s afoot. If my suspicions are correct, I've stumbled across a secret that will blow the music and puppet industry wide apart. In the mid-60s / mid-90s at least. It doesn’t take long to see the signposts. There’s the similarity between the name of Oasis’ first single, Supersonic, and Supermarianation, Gerry Anderson’s puppetry technique. The Gallagher brothers would often wear Parkas . Live Forever was clearly a reference to Captain Scarlet and Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to the size difference between Noel and his bandmates. The more you think about it, the more brazen it gets. It’s fishier than Area 51, Paul is Dead and JFK's assassination put together. The only glitch to the theory is scale . According to Wikipedia, Anderson’s marionettes were 1’10” and Gallagher is 5’8”. How does he maintain an illusion of avera...

'...I'm Gonna Look at You 'til My Eyes Go Blind."

Over the past week or two, I’ve been on a bit of a Sheryl Crow kick, largely thanks to rediscovering her cover of one of my most-liked Bob Dylan songs. She has one of my favourite female voices, yet despite this, I only own one CD and that’s just a single (her '97 release ‘Hard to Make a Stand’); on that basis, you can only imagine how much of her back catalogue I’d own if I hated her (it would fall into minus-figures). Dylan, conversely, takes up more of my collection than anyone else, save The Beatles and Paul McCartney’s solo work. He’s one of those artists who, when you get him, you really get him - and once I’d tuned into his style as a student, I'd time and again be blown away by his lyrics; he’ll have more jaw-dropping imagery in one track than other people fit in a whole career. These days, I mostly listen to music in the morning when getting ready, and more often than not, this will consist of a suggested YouTube playlist when I’m in the bath, r...

"Speaking Words of Wisdom, Let it Shine."

Tonight saw the second instalment of BBC1’s latest advertise-a-musical-for-months-and-then-cast-it-with-performers-too-inexperienced-to-do-it-a-thon ‘Let it S̶h̶i̶t̶e̶ Shine’ (or as I call it: ‘REAL AUDITIONS ARE NOTHING LIKE THIS’). I didn’t watch it (clearly), but being reminded of how angry seeing just five minutes of it made me last week caused me to mull over what I would call a musical based on the band’s songbook, if I was responsible for it. Here are a my suggestions: IDEAS FOR TITLE OF A TAKE THAT MUSICAL: Barlow! Dirty Fat-Dancing Orange! A Million Love-changes-everything Songs Owen! Howard's End Pray Misérables Mamma Marka! Babe (with a pig as the lead) …BUT MY FAVOURITE HAS TO BE: Jason & His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. "It was Orange, Orange, Orange, Orange..." (TAKE) THAT’S ENOUGH OF (TAKE) THAT.

mostly david ephgrave

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