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Everyone's a Critic.


Every Strictly Come Dancing audience member that groans after the judges give their feedback is a professional choreographer.

That must be the case. How else would they have a sufficient understanding of what Craig, Darcey, Len and Bruno are about to say to boo before they’ve finished their sentence? They’re all experts. Either that, or they’ve watched too many pantos through the years.

I sometimes wonder if they’ve even seen the show before. It took me minutes to spot the pattern to Craig Revel Horwood’s comments. He starts with the bad and ends with the good. It’s not hard to get to grips with.

What these on-beat-clapping mouth-breathers don’t realise is you seldom get positive feedback in the performing arts industry. A director or choreographer will usually only tell you when you’ve got something wrong, not when you’ve got something right. You work at such a lick, there’s little time for affirmation. If you get no notes, you're doing well.

That said, I know it's television. The floor manager will be stoking them up. It doesn't matter. it’s still irritating.

I wonder how many hormone injections they give Bruno before each broadcast. I bet his dressing room's a cage. That man would have sex with a table.


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