This
morning I looked out of my kitchen window and saw a Royal Mail van reversing so
quickly and perfectly around my estate that – just for a moment – I thought the
world was rewinding.
I should
probably point out that it was first
thing in the morning; early enough for me to briefly forget that a
rewinding Royal Mail van was an impossibility. It was but a fleeting moment –
but boy, was that fleeting moment convincing.
I must
stop eating hash cakes for breakfast.
It’s an
unusual feeling when the world presents you with moments like this, with
normality swiftly turned on its head. It’s particularly vexing when you’re
the only person around to witness it; like the Universe is making a personal joke
at your expense.
It’s a bit
like the time I accidentally knocked over the draining rack next to my sink
whilst washing up – and as it clattered to the ground it perfectly replicated
the opening drum-fill to ‘Rock With You’ by Michael Jackson.
No-one
else heard it – though even if they did, they probably wouldn’t have made the
same connection.
It’s guess
it’s just a question of how you look at things - and sometimes the strangest
sources can lead you to question the nature of your own existence. The other
day I was watching ‘The Hairy Bikers’ on BBC2 - and as Si King (the
lighter-bearded biker) went to bite into some tiny snack or other, Dave Marks
(the Stictly Come Dancing biker) pointed out that it could in fact be ten feet high and
Si was some kind of giant.
“After all”,
he said. “Size is all a matter of relativity”.
Those motorcycling chefs have a pair of wise-but-hairy heads on their shoulders.
