Thursday, 31 March 2016

Doubting Thomas (David)

...and here we go with another ‘on-the-way-home-from-a-gig’ blog: strap in.

Tonight I did a short set of mostly untested material at Touching Cloth. To be honest, I'm quite surprised I went, as this afternoon a black cloud descended on my head, telling me I couldn't and shouldn't do it. I think this mostly stemmed from the fact I've been feeling overloaded, and have been frustrated with the fact that all the time I'd like to devote to writing and rehearsing new material for Bath is being constantly snapped up by something else; by the time I've got to grips with the day-to-day admin of life, plus the admin for tomorrow’s Mostly Comedy, the impetus and the time to work on what I really need to do has gone.

(I'm currently being distracted by the guy opposite me on the train, who’s listening music on his MP3 player and stamping his foot along like a five-toed fleshy metronome; assuming he has the requisite amount of lower-extremity digits.)

By 3pm this afternoon, I'd lost my nerve and felt completely overwhelmed. Then, gradually, I started to redress it. I remembered the reason I'd booked tonight's spot in the first place: to run something in and see if it works. I realised that if I didn't go, I'd only end up being annoyed with myself, along with being aware that that precious five minutes of stage time would be gone. I firmly believe in the mantra of using every moment. It reminds me of something Nick Helm said to me once, regarding doing work-in-progress: “Even it doesn't go well, I know why I'm doing it; if I get one little bit of material sorted, it's worth it”.

He worded it better than me.

All in all, the new bit went reasonably well. i’ll know how well for sure when I listen back to it. I caught the train into London and faced my ‘am I good / am I shit’ demons head-on. Like Nick said: “I know why I'm doing it.”

...roll on tomorrow's Mostly Comedy.  

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