Craic-ing Up.


Of all the potential choices for 'on-hold music' you could go with, a musical theatre version of Danny Boy isn't the one.

It was while calling the Grove Theatre in Dunstable to opt for a credit to be kept on my account due to the cancellation of a Sean Lock gig there tonight, that I was faced with this aural monstrosity. The show was pulled due to unforeseen circumstances, which couldn’t be helped, what with them being unforeseen and all that. The staff were pleasant and efficient when it came to sorting it all out, but I could still have done without the quasi-Irish prelude to our conversation.

They must have had to field a lot of calls today as a result of the cancelled gig, with many of them from irate ticket-holders with zero understanding of the situation; thanks to running a comedy club, I know exactly what the public can be like. I'm sure the venue would have given themselves an easier ride though, if they’d chosen less offensive hold-music; the death metal album Eaten Back to Life by the band Cannibal Corpse would have done it.

It’s a shame the show was cancelled, as I’d bought the tickets as a Christmas present for my dad who - like me - is a big Lock fan. If I could just get him to play Mostly Comedy in the near future, it would act as compensation. I could have been worse: in 2002, I was standing in the queue to see Paul McCartney at Sheffield Arena, when an announcement came across the tannoy to say the gig had been pulled because he'd lost his voice. A sea of confused and saddened middle-aged men in Beatles t-shirts and Nineties-Macca mullets surrounded me everywhere I looked. I’ve never faced disappointment in such like-minded company since. If only he hadn’t damaged his Pipes of Peace.

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