Deeply Dippy.
I kind of feel I've reached the limit of what I can do by myself creatively without someone else to believe in me.
It might just be the gloom of the New Year without the impetus of something to sink my teeth into (cliché), or it may be a genuine reflection of where I'm at, but I'm just not feeling excited about what's ahead. I've worked so hard over the past four years, with my 2018 Edinburgh show 'David Ephgrave: My Part in His Downfall' ending up something I'm very proud of, and yet I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do next.
Mostly Comedy has become something of a compulsion with me checking our emails and the ticket reports far too regularly, but despite the frequency I tinker with things to do with it, I've started to resent it. To be honest, it's been a love / hate relationship for years, but as it stands I've started to dread the shows as they've become an exercise in organisation I'm bored with in an atmosphere where it's hard to try new material out unless you're a big name.
Don't get me wrong: I'm proud of all the things I've done comedy-, acting- and music-wise and I'm proud of the comedy club, but I miss the collaboration that used to be behind it.
I'm sure this is just a little dip of the kind I've had before and will no doubt have again - you can't be in my line of work without them - but I'd really like something positive to happen soon to give me a bit more drive. I hope the video of my most recent show will at least spread the word of what I do so something good can come from it; I guess we'll just have to watch this space.